Dark Kiss
by AkiraDawn
Summary: They rarely spoke of what happened. It had been four months since the incident and it was like a thorn in their sides. Perhaps an assignment to Healen in the beautiful October foliage would be just the remedy for the chronic pain.
1. An October Rain

Dark Kiss

I don't own anything related to Final Fantasy. It belongs to Square Enix.

It was a cold set in rain this early October day. It was 6:00 and she was on overtime. Elena typed away on her laptop, glancing at the document beside her and then back at the glowing screen. It was a wonder the Shinra Electric Power Company had a leg to stand on after everything that had happened with JENOVA and the remnants. The remnants. Elena stared at his file picture: LOZ. Then the next: YAZOO. And then the last one: KADAJ. In that very order. Rufus Shinra and his subordinates had actually gone to great lengths to clean up Shinra's image and to rebuild faith in the people. It had worked. At least to a certain extent it had. Reno and Rude were on a scouting assignment; they had been for the majority of the day.

It had been four months since it happened; four months since Tseng and Elena were rescued from the cold north - the Forgotten City. Neither of them had hardly said one word about the ordeal to each other since they had been back in Midgar. It was like an elephant in the room in fact. They tried to go on with business as usual. They still took orders together, practiced on the range together and occasionally…_very_ occasionally…had a glass of wine together. But in spite of their normal routine, there was still a wall between them. Both Reno and Rude could see it; and it frustrated them to no end to watch Tseng and Elena go through the motions of every day life with a great deal of unspoken tension. They did their job; and they were damn good at it. But the problem was…even over that occasional glass of wine…they were _still _doing their job.

In the first month after they had been rescued, Elena didn't smile at all. Not even once. The reports documenting her condition from the incident were under lock and key up at Healen. There had been only two people who had read those records, one of them being the chief Shinra Doctor. By August, Elena had retrieved at least some of her sense of normalcy. It was such a pleasure to hear her laughter again.

Like Elena's reports, Tseng's too were under lock and key at Healen. The Head Shinra Doctor also was one of only two people who had read about his condition. Tseng had stayed glued to his office window after they had returned. He would just stare out the window until someone snapped him out of his daze. He didn't answer the phone, didn't return emails…he just stared. That was only through that first month though. He had always been a marvelous conversationalist and Rude had always loved Tseng's dry and sarcastic sense of humor. Those traits about him had finally returned, at least somewhat, by late July.

There was a knock on Elena's doorframe. She looked up from her work. "Hey." She said, stopping her typing and rolling around in her chair.

"What are you still doing here?" Tseng asked her.

"Rufus wanted this on his desk by six." Elena said looking at her computer screen.

"Aren't you going to be late for you session?" Tseng asked.

"Yeah. I probably should call." Elena sighed.

"No, here. Just e-mail it to me. I'll finish it. I don't want you to be late." Tseng insisted leaning over against the doorframe.

"Tseng, you don't have to do that. There's at least thirty more minutes to go on…" Tseng stopped her.

"Really, it's okay. Go. I don't want you to be late." He insisted. Elena gave him a soft smile.

"Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow, then?" Elena said saving her document and quickly e-mailing it to Tseng. Tseng shook his head and tapped the edge of her doorframe before leaving her alone to gather up her things. She shut down her laptop and began shoving her things into her large black tote. She sat the bag down in her rolling chair and grabbed her long black trench off the back of her door. Thank goodness she had remembered to bring her umbrella with her this morning when she came in to work. She killed the lights in her office and locked the door behind her. She was grateful that not only was her car equipped with remote start, but that the Shinra Company had a parking garage. Tseng always worried about her going into the darkened parking garage after dark like this. He never confessed to her that he worried about her. Shinra Administrative employees had designated spaces close to the building. The spaces on the 6th floor of the parking garage were marked: SHINRA EMPLOYEE PARKING ONLY and each car had a numbered parking permit hanging on it's rear view mirror.

Elena was the only one in the cold elevator as it lunged downward from the 56th floor. It rattled and slightly shook as it dinged, passing up each floor. "Level F Parking Garage." The automated voice of the elevator announced before the tone signaled that the doors would go flying open. She punched a button on her car's keyless remote and she heard the ignition start. Tseng always parked beside Elena. There weren't many employees left on the garage level tonight. The cold air moved through the garage level pulling sheets of rain in with it. Elena shivered a bit as she unlocked her car doors, threw her bag in the trunk and climbed into the driver's side.

She didn't want to park two blocks away from the building but she didn't have a choice. There wasn't any parking to be had. She paralleled into the nearest spot she could find near the municipal building. Elena dodged the puddles as she began the rainy two block walk. Dusk was falling over Midgar as the October rain pelted her. The headlights from the passing cars were beginning to become brighter and the slosh of tires against pavement was a comforting rhythm. She pulled her umbrella tighter against her head as she continued down the crowded, wet pavement.

Tseng rubbed his fingers over his forehead before opening his desk drawer. He knew he needed to get busy on the project Elena had been working on. But he couldn't, He was too distracted. He sighed and picked up his cell phone, flipping through his phone book. He stopped on Elena's name. There was her home phone, her cell and her e-mail. He had no idea why the hell her company e-mail was in his phone. Everyone's Shinra e-mail account was the same and he was staring at his new mail message from her in his inbox on the computer screen. There it was: First name, dot, last name, at ShinraEP dot org. He sat his phone aside and spun around in his chair. He gazed out of the gray, damp Midgar evening; the sun hidden away. His office phone rang. He looked over at the ID readout: RUFUS SHINRA. He turned back toward the window and wondered if Elena had made it to her destination yet.

DR. LAURA M. CARDIMUM, LPCC. The door read. Elena opened it and stepped inside the neon lit hallway. She put her umbrella down, closing it and shaking off the excess water before preceding any further. She wiped her feet on the long carpet that lined the hallway.

"Hello." The receptionist greeted her after Elena had made her way down the hallway into the office at the end.

"Hi. Lovely weather, huh?" She said softly as she scribbled her name on the sign-in sheet. She sat down in the office chair. Her entire body ached and her mind was exhausted.

"Tell me about it. Can you believe it's been doing this all day?" the receptionist made idle chatter with her. Elena looked over beside her: VOYAGE THE NEW HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER. Voyage was one of the few magazines available in Midgar that reviewed wines, wineries and the like. It was a hard to find magazine unless one subscribed to it. There was always valuable information to be had.

"Um…could I….could I have this magazine?" Elena reluctantly asked the receptionist.

"Sure! By all means." The receptionist assured her.

"Elena?" a woman smiled pleasantly at her. "I'm ready for you now." Elena stood up, gathered her things and followed the woman through the door.

* * *

><p>"I don't know, just fax it or something." Tseng said as he ratted around in his kitchen. "Better yet, can you scan it and e-mail it to me? No, no, no…don't even bother with it tonight because I won't. I was at the office until nearly seven thirty and I have a headache." He balanced his phone against his ear while he attempted to not break any dishes unloading the dishwasher. "I can only do Wednesdays up until 4:30. I have to be walking to my car by 4:30. Because I have an obligation at 5:15 every Wednesday." He said to whomever it was he was talking to. He had unloaded all of the smoke colored glass goblets into a cabinet. "What am I doing? I'm unloading my dishwasher, then I'm going to pay bills and read. Yeah, yeah okay. Okay. Hey, thanks for goin' on that run today. Alright, Reno. See you tomorrow." Tseng hung up his phone. Well, that was <em>almost<em> everything he was going to do tonight. He had been through countless books of all sorts since it happened. But as much as he tried to read himself to sleep, many nights for him always ended in tears. Even the people who had it together the most fell apart sometimes.

* * *

><p>There was no better remedy for an early morning than coffee; whether it be hot or cold. Tseng, Elena, Reno and Rude all awaited Rufus' arrival for this meeting.<p>

I'm sorry…I have to know what that is. It smells amazing." Rude told Elena.

"Pumpkin spice latte. Seasonal. The only sell these in October and November. You want a drink?" Elena offered her hot insulated cup to Rude.

"That's okay. But I assure you, I will walk across the street and get one after this meeting." Rude said. Elena watched as Tseng picked up her drink and tried it.

"Did they make this for you in your own thermos?" Tseng asked her.

"Yep. They do things like that if you ask." Elena said.

"Wait…do they do straight up black coffee if you ask?" Reno wondered.

"Sure do." Elena assured him as she pulled out her tablet pc.

"Oh, wow. That's sweet." Reno said as the door opened.

"I'm sorry. I got distracted several times on the way here." Rufus admitted. He quickly had a seat at the head of the table. He scattered out some papers before him and sighed. "I'm so unorganized. Tseng, this packet is for you. I need you to review all of the information and sign off on it's accuracy. Elena….for you." Rufus said shoving two large packets toward them. Tseng looked at the front page: DETAILED REMNANT REPORT FORGOTTEN CITY: LOZ, YAZOO, KADAJ. Tseng continued to sit there motionless staring at the words but not actually reading them. Elena's face turned suddenly serious as she took the packet of papers. "Could the two of you sign off on the accuracy of the reports?" Rufus asked as he scribbled his signature on something. He looked up when he didn't get a response from either or Tseng or Elena. "Tseng? Elena?" he repeated. Elena reached up and tugged on her collar.

"Uh….yeah….yeah…I can…I can have them reviewed and…on your desk by Monday." She said in a bit of a hushed voice. Tseng shook his head.

"Yeah…yeah, what she said." Tseng said after Elena had broken Rufus' unanswered question.

"Great. Now, what we need to do…" Reno and Rude glanced over at Tseng and Elena and then at each other as Rufus talked. Their exchanges said it all. Reno looked back across the table. Tseng was still staring at the packet of papers and nervously gnawing on the end of his pen. Elena had her head buried in her tablet. She reached up quickly and shoved the packet out of her sight. It was the aggressive way she did it though, that bothered Reno. He thought perhaps she would have ripped those papers to shreds had she been given the chance. "…so really, eight days in Healen with the four of you going through the file room should take care of it. I'm sure there are many files up there that can be shredded or brought here and filed. There's no longer any reason to leave those documents at the lodge. Really, the four of you need to simply decide when you'd like to leave. This should be a beautiful time at the lodge so, enjoy it. Seriously." Rufus said tapping his pen in front on him. He looked around the table. "What do you think? When would you like to leave?" Mostly, he was awaiting from a response from Tseng, since he _was_ Director and all. Tseng shook his head and looked across the table to Reno and Rude and then over to Elena.

"It really don't matter." Reno said.

"How about next Friday? Leave Friday morning?" Tseng suggested.

"That sounds good." Elena said.

"Yeah, next Friday it is." Rude agreed.

"Great. It's settled then! The four of you leave next Friday for Healen and return the Sunday the week after. We'll Skype back and forth or in your case Elena, we'll facetime it." Rufus told her teasingly. That got a laugh out of her. "Alright, that's all. Thanks." Rufus said standing up.

"I guess I'll get back to taking a look at those chopper blades." Reno said.

"Yup. I'll go with you and check out what's up with the control panel." Rude said.

"Rufus, were those files Tseng e-mailed you acceptable?" Elena asked as she closed the case of her tablet.

"They were exquisite. Thank you." Rufus assured her.

"Well, Tseng finished them." Elena said pushing her chair in.

"Oh hey, can you come up to my office for a minute? I need to give you that flash drive I mentioned the other day." Tseng said.

"That's right. I'll password encrypt the stuff on it." Elena promised him as she and Tseng followed Rufus out the door.

"Bye, Rufus. Catch up with you later?" Tseng asked.

"Indeed." Rufus answered. Elena followed Tseng to the elevator.

"Um…about the reports Rufus asked us to look over." Tseng said to Elena staring up at the floor numbers that lit up as the elevator passed over them.

"Yeah…" Elena said in a rather saddened voice.

"Um…" Tseng nervously shook his fist a little in the air. "…I uh…I don't…really know how to…ask you this…but uh…" he sighed nervously. "Do…do you think….maybe….maybe it's a…a good idea…if we…read the report together….you know like…like we could do it….over dinner or something?" Tseng tugged at his collar, feeling sweat on his neck.

"Yeah….yeah that would be a good idea. The reports are the same and…well…" Elena didn't finish her sentence because she didn't know how. As mentioned, she and Tseng simply _didn't_ talk about what happened to them up north.

"Um…are you…free tonight?" Tseng asked her perhaps a little too seriously.

"I gotta do something after work today but…but after that….if it's….not too late….for you." Elena said meekly as they stepped out of the elevator.

"No, no. That's fine. Is uh…is some kind of pasta okay? I mean…do you like that?" Tseng wasn't any less nervous in his tone.

"Sure. That's…that's great." Elena assured him.

"Okay…just uh…just come by at…like around 7:15?" The look on his face was more like that of someone being grilled on the witness stand.

"Alright. Oh! I have something to give you, but…I'll just…bring it by tonight." Elena said as she awkwardly began to walk down the hall; looking over her shoulder at Tseng.

"Okay." Tseng answered her. Elena was nervous about reading these reports with Tseng. It wasn't that she was nervous around him; it was quite the contrary. What she feared was what would happen if she couldn't control the feelings she had been privately fighting and holding back for so long.


	2. Over Blush

They had gotten to the thirteenth page. "This is really good." Elena said.

"Rrr…really? Really? You like, it? Really?" Tseng asked her a bit too seriously.

"Yeah." Elena took a deep nervous breath as she read the next paragraph. They read mostly in an awkward silence, initialing each page for accuracy.

"Do you want some more wine?" Tseng asked her as he turned the page.

"Sure. That's a good blush by the way." Elena commented.

"I like it. It has a nice finish to it." Tseng said reaching over the documents for the bottle. He sighed and had a peculiar look on his face. He turned and looked at Elena. "Do you think I should get contacts?" It was a bizarre question. They should have been discussing the details of these documents. But this was a much easier question to ask.

"Why would you get contacts? You only wear your glasses when you read." Elena reminded him. "It's like….uh….it's like me asking you if…if…" Elena realized she had absolutely nothing to compare that statement to so she just guzzled her blush like Kool-Aid.

"It's just that…well…since…." Tseng stopped and nervously shook his fist in the air again. "…and…you know…they…I…I need them more and more." He finally finished his more than awkward sentence.

"Well, there's…there's nothing wrong with them or anything." Elena said sitting her wine glass down and picking up her plate again. There was another long silence as they began reading the page. "Do…you ever have any dreams?" she asked a bit reluctantly. She looked over at him as he pushed around the food on his plate. It was strange that he looked so comfortable in his white t-shirt and soft cotton pants but his mind looked so tormented.

"Yeah…" he finally said looking over at Elena. "…yeah…I…I've…I've had dreams…" it was all Tseng said. He didn't offer any additional details. Elena put her initials at the bottom of the page. Tseng did the same and turned the page again. They were almost done. "Thanks for that magazine you brought over. Where did you get it?"

"Dr. Cardimum's office." Elena answered. Tseng shook his head.

"Do you uh…do you like her?" Tseng realized it was a stupid question after he asked it. Elena had been going to Dr. Cardimum for nearly four months.

"Yeah, I like her she…" Elena stopped talking as she read the next paragraph. Elena stared at the page. Tseng put his plate aside for a moment.

"You okay?" Tseng asked her. Elena turned away from him doing her best to swallow the lump in her throat. The next paragraph had really gotten to her.

"Yeah…" she said softly. "…do…do you care…if I have some more of your pasta? She had to say something for an excuse to stand up and get away from this page.

"Sure, sure. I don't mind." Tseng assured her. Elena stood up quickly and made a point to avoid eye contact with Tseng. He glanced at her, briefly noticing her wipe her eyes. He looked back at the page and initialed it, forging Elena's initials as well before turning it. Elena soon returned with a half-full plate.

"Oh my god…I'm such a…I didn't even ask you if you wanted any more." Elena said putting her free hand over her face. It was part embarrassment, part nervousness and part anxiety.

"It's okay. Here, we're almost done. After we finish this last page, let's…forget about work for a while." Tseng's tone was comforting. Elena smiled a little.

"Okay. I'm sorry…it's just…" Tseng put a hand on her shoulder, cutting her off.

"You don't have to explain anything." His voice was again tender. She shook her head and picked up her fork again as she diverted her eyes back to the document. There was a long silence between them.

"You're an excellent cook." Elena finally said as she scribbled the last EBG.

"I've know you for seven years…and in seven years I've never once asked you what the B stands for." Tseng said printing his last initials beside hers.

"Brichionne." Elena answered him putting her plate aside on the table in front of them. Tseng closed the document and threw it beside him on the couch. He seemed to be pondering the name in his mind.

"That's really pretty." Tseng said refilling his wine glass.

"Thanks. It's uh…after my grandmother." Elena shared as she picked up her glass and swirled the blush around.

"Want some more?" Tseng asked her.

"No, thanks. I need to drive home tonight." Elena reminded him.

"If you think you can't you can stay here." Tseng thought about what he just said. "I…I don't mean that…like…like the…way that…sounded. I…don't…I don't mean you can stay _with_ me. What I…" Tseng sighed and shook his fist in the air again.

"No, no, no….it's…it's okay. It's okay, I understand. I…I…get what you were…you know….yeah. That's…that's nice of you. You know, to offer to….let me stay like that. On…only if I…I…couldn't drive or something." Elena said just as awkwardly. It seemed apparently true that they could talk about next to nothing except work. There was silence between them again as Elena picked up the blush bottle to examine it. Tseng watched her carefully as if he were about to ask her something.

"Have uh….have you needed any medicine…you know, to sleep?" Tseng asked with narrow brows. Elena swirled the pale liquid around in her glass. She shook her head.

"I'm trying to…wean myself from them. I've heard all this stuff about…how it's easy to get addicted to sleeping pills." Elena said.

"It is. I was on them for a month and realized that with every day that I took them, I was becoming more and more dependent on them. So, I…I realized I needed to get off them before I was a total pill addict." Tseng said. That exchange was the most detailed of anything they had discussed since returning from the Forgotten City.

"Do you want me to help you clean up or anything?" Elena asked seeing as there was plenty to clean up in the kitchen. Tseng had left everything out from where he had been cooking earlier in the evening.

"No, it's okay." He assured her. "So…do you want to ride up to the lodge with me next week? Reno and Rude are going up a day early because they have a possible mako lead they're going to check on nearby first. Apparently, Rufus forgot to mention it in our meeting."

"Yeah, okay. I'll ride up with you." Elena said confidently.

"Can you be ready by….say…7:30? I'll pick you up around then? That'll put us at Healen by 11:30 or 12:00." he asked of her.

"I'll be ready." Elena assured him. Tseng nodded at her.

"Oh, uh…bring your GPS. It never fails that I take the wrong exit just outside of Kalm and after that it takes me at least an hour to get back on the right route."

"Okay, I'll be sure the maps are updated. I haven't checked the map status in a while. And you know…maybe…just….I…I could bring…a Merlot?" she tugged on her fingers nervously.

"Yeah…yeah…yeah it's…been a while since I've had a good Merlot. I'll…I'll bring a Zifandel?" Tseng questioned. Elena shook her head in agreement.

"Thanks for reviewing this repot with me. I…appreciate it, a lot." Elena confessed to him.

"Likewise." Tseng said.

"I should probably go soon. I need to pick up a few things." Elena said standing up and taking her and Tseng's plate into his kitchen. Tseng picked up his empty wine glass and followed her.

"You sure you're okay to drive?" he questioned.

"Yeah, I'm okay." Elena answered running warm water over her plate. Tseng took his glasses off and hung them on the collar of his shirt. Elena caught sight of a book on the slim table behind his couch as she went toward the closet near his stairs to get her coat: TIPPING THE SCALES. "What are you reading about?"

"Mythology of Leviathan. It's interesting. I had no idea how deeply the roots of Leviathan were seeded within the country of Wutai." Tseng told her.

"You're almost finished with it." Elena said looking a the bookmark that indicated only about a hundred pages left.

"Yeah, I…I read a lot. I read a whole lot. Actually, I have so many books it's ridiculous. I should get an eReader or something because I'm running out of room to put books." Tseng confessed.

"Yeah?" Elena questioned. He motioned for her and walked her into the back dining room to show her three extremely full bookcases.

"Tseng…you need to read on my tablet. I've never seen this many books in one place." Elena said. She actually managed to break a smiled. "Tell you what, follow me out to me car and you can keep my tablet tonight. Browse the bookstore and buy anything you want. My credit card's linked. The password to my account is EBG1979."

"Aren't you supposed to create passwords that no one can guess?" Tseng asked of her.

"If I did that…I would forget all my passwords." Elena admitted.

"Here…you're going to let me have your tablet…you can have this." He searched over a shelf before finding the book he was looking for. This was a shockingly less than awkward conversation. "Here."

Elena took the hardcover book and examined it: THE VERANDA. "And what is this about?" she questioned.

"Just read it. It's outstanding, a real page turner." Tseng insisted. He found himself surprisingly comfortable right now.

"I'll start it tonight." Elena said. "I'll uh…I'll take it to Healen as well. Come on, let me give you my tablet." She made her way back toward his front door, grabbing her coat. She laid the hardcover book on the arm of Tseng's couch and zipped her fleece coat. She grabbed her purse and dug out her keys. Tseng opened his front door; the streets were quiet tonight and leaves rustled in the faint air. Tseng looked to the sky as he followed Elena to her car. A crescent moon hung high in the sky. There was a chill in the air tonight, which reminded Tseng of how much cooler it would be once they traveled farther north to Healen.

"It's…probably gonna' be colder in the mountains…you know…where the lodge is." It was all Tseng said as Elena unlocked her car doors.

"Yeah?" she questioned further knowing that Tseng didn't really go anywhere with that statement.

"Right…right…uh…you should… take some warm clothes. Not that I'm telling you what to take or anything…it's not that. Just…" Elena stopped this before it could get any worse.

"Here you go." She handed over her tablet and it's charger.

"Thank you. I'll bring this back to you tomorrow." He said.

"It's okay, just keep it for a few days. I'll see you tomorrow." Elena said. "Call me if you have any questions about it."

"Drive safe." He cautioned her through her open passenger window. He tapped the edge of her window before stepping back and watching her pull away. He watched her until her care had completely disappeared from view and turned around to head up his luminary lit sidewalk that lead to the door. He placed a hand on the brass doorknob but instead of going back inside; he looked up into a starless sky. He just stood there and listened to the sounds of the evening around him. Tseng took a deep breath and let a long sigh escape him as he leaned up against his door, despite the fact that the rustic wreath on his door was poking in to him. He finally turned around and went back into the house once more.

* * *

><p>Elena laid in her bed under down covers. She examined the hardcover book, reading about the author. She scanned over the contents and the forward before turning to the first page. She brought the pages closer to her face. The entire book smelled like Tseng's house, a combination of what appeared to be dried apples with a touch of clove. She liked the scent. Elena lowered the book a little and read the opening line. She had hoped this would be the perfect way to calm her racing mind.<p> 


	3. Day One: How Can I Fall

"Hey! How was the trip minus the detour?" Rude asked as the front door of the lodge opened. Tseng and Elena ran into a major accident that shut down the major highway to Healen. They had called Rude and Reno to let them know that they had to go nearly three hours out of their way. Rude was sitting on the couch punching away on an adding machine while Reno highlighted the numbers after Rude was done with each.

"It was a good trip aside from that damn thing. Do you realize that on top of the detour we sat in stand-still traffic for over an hour. Eventually, me and Tseng just turned the car off and got out. We started talking to this family beside us that were headed north of Kalm. But, we finally made it. Tseng's getting the rest of our luggage." Elena said as she plopped several items into the floor that she had carried in including a large black tote, her purse, Tseng's laptop, her laptop, and his cell phone. Reno watched her. He hated to admit how cute she was in her long-sleeved purple shirt and her faded out jeans. He could see the edge of her camisole peeking out the bottom of her shirt. Tseng arrived shortly behind her, luggage in tote.

"Why'd you two bring so much crap? I brought like…three changes of clothes and I'm just gonna wash 'em downstairs as needed." Reno said.

"Well, unlike you…Elena and I need a lot of crap." Tseng answered him.

"Thanks for bringing all that stuff in. I'm going to take these things upstairs." Elena said turning around to face Tseng. He nodded at her. She grabbed her rolling luggage and the bag that was attached to it.

"God, it feels good in here. I had forgotten what October felt like up here." Tseng said leaving his luggage sitting at the door and walking over to the kitchen.

"I know! But it's beautiful. There's plenty of wood to build a fire every day and night if we want it. Me and Reno chopped a hell of a lot yesterday and there's two days worth on the hearth. The rest is in that closet in the back room." Rude was referring to the massive fireplace in the back room of the lodge. The main floor of the lodge was where the kitchen, a den and the back living room so to speak were located. There was a staircase in the back living room that led to the floor that once held geostigma patients. It had been remolded into five individual suites. The floor below was the former medical floor, which had once housed expensive medical and research equipment. Now, most of the rooms were empty and it's tiled floors and mirrored walls were all that remained. The mirrored walls were used for those patients who required rehabilitation from crippling geostigma. Therapists would work with patients in front of the mirrors so both therapist and patient could monitor progress. One of the rooms was much larger than the other medical rooms. It had been the room where the most equipment rehab mats had been located. The back four rooms on this floor were file rooms. Nothing. But. Files. Steel cabinet after steel cabinet of files. There were hundreds and hundreds of files; perhaps even thousands to comb through in the eight days. They would work the industrial size paper shredder over time because many of the files were patient records to shred. Of course, there were others files here too. Some would return to the Shinra building in Midgar and some would remain right here. They had their work cut out for them in the days ahead.

"Oh my god!" Tseng was rather shocked as he stared inside the refrigerator.

"Yeah, Rude and I picked up some stuff yesterday before we got here." Reno said.

"I guess you did. Elena and I have wine we've gotta cram in here somewhere. How much were you two planning on drinking exactly? You've got as much liquor in here as you do food!" Tseng said.

"Hey, hey…you and Elena can have as much of that liquor as you want, ya know. And look in the cabinets above the sink." Reno said.

"God, just when I thought excess was taken to a whole new level. Why are there so many boxes of macaroni and cheese?" Tseng questioned.

"Why _shouldn't _there be?" Reno asked thinking Tseng's question was absurd.

"You haven't even gotten to the freezer yet." Rude reminded him. Tseng gave him that 'what the hell is in the freezer look'.

"I'm so glad to know we could have pizza and ice cream every night if we wanted it." He said a bit sarcastically. Tseng wasn't one much for eating out of the freezer. "I'm going to go unpack." Tseng said finally unzipping his lightweight jacket and throwing it on the back of the chair near the door. It seemed so strange seeing Tseng in jeans. Reno and Rude were programmed to seeing him in a suit and tie all the time and for the first time that they had seen in a long time, he actually looked comfortable. Tseng soon disappeared thereafter.

Rude looked over to Reno. "I know, I know. You don't even have to say it man, don't even have to say it. 'Cause believe me….it's screamin'…it's fuckin' screamin' to me." Reno said continuing with his highlighting of numbers. Rude sighed and continued adding.

"It's like…." Rude shook her head. "…never mind. I don't have to explain it to you. Wanna put a pizza in the oven?" Rude asked.

"Totally." Reno answered.

Meanwhile, upstairs; Elena unpacked her luggage all over her bed. "Hey." Tseng said entering her doorway. Elena spun around quickly. "You forgot one." He said plopping a bag to the ground. Elena smiled.

"Thanks." She answered. Tseng caught sight of something on the bed. "What are those?" he asked.

"Nothing." She said shoving whatever it was underneath a nearby pile. It was a bit of a defensive answer.

"Okay, just wanted to give that to you. Since Reno and Rude took the suites at the end of the hall, I'm in the one beside you." Tseng said.

"Oh, okay." Elena answered him. Once Tseng had left her alone she pulled the item she had hid from him back out from under her pile. She picked them up and ran her hands over the satin before placing them on the dresser beside a bag of lamb's wool. She dropped a bag beside her dresser. Within it was a pair of tights, leg warmers, a black leotard, a black chiffon skirt, and a pale pink long sleeved sweater shrug to name a few things. There were other things in the bag as well. She returned to the bed where she was unpacking the rest of her luggage. She had a few piles on the bed and a stack of clothes she needed to hang in the closet. Sure, she had overpacked, but she wanted to be prepared. She stared at her clothes as she sorted them out. Tseng soon returned once more.

"Do you have my small bag somewhere in here?" he asked of her.

"Huh? Uh…no….no it's not in here." Elena said startled and a bit embarrassed by Tseng seeing all her piles on the bed.

"I must have left it downstairs then." Tseng said mostly talking to himself. Realizing this, he headed back downstairs. Elena was a bit relieved. She could unpack now without him seeing the rest of her luggage. She wasn't sure why she was self-conscious about that….but she was. Perhaps it was because she didn't want him to think she was high maintenance or something. Or it could have been because…well she didn't have an answer to give herself. Elena opened up the closet and pulled a handful of hangers out.

"Hey, glad you're back." Reno said seeing that Tseng had come back downstairs. "Me and Rude need to go back into town. Care to come with us?

"Why exactly would you ask me and not me _and_ Elena?" Tseng asked Reno or Rude, whoever cared to answer first

"Uhhhhh…." Was Reno's response.

"She can come too, right?" Tseng asked. Reno looked at Rude. Rude sighed.

"We wont' lie we were gonna hit up a strip club and we wondered if you wanted to come." He confessed.

"No." Tseng said rather irritated. He quickly swiped up the bag he had been looking for earlier.

"We're just askin' jeesh! Shit, Elena can come too I guess…if she'd be into that kinda' thing." Reno said. Tseng disappeared quickly without another word.

"See?" Rude said looking at Reno. Reno threw the packet of papers aside.

"Yep. Come on, pizza's ready. We'll eat and get outta here. It's a two hour ride into town. If we leave now and get gas, stop at an bank and get a shit load of ones we'll be there by 9:30." Reno said.

"Good call. I'll yell up and tell Tseng we're leavin' in 20 that case." Rude said shoving the adding machine aside and standing up. He walked through the hallway and to the back living room where the staircase was.

"Hey! Hey! Can anyone here me!" he yelled up the stairs.

"Yeah, what do you want?" Elena called back.

"Me an' Reno are leavin' in like 20 minutes. You want some pizza with us?

"Where are you going and no thanks." Elena yelled coming toward the top of the steps.

"We'll be back by…like….I don't know….we'll be back later." Rude said.

"Any chance you'd…." Elena shook her hands in front of her.

"What?" Rude asked.

"I need tampons." Elena admitted more than embarrassedly. She had forgotten all of her extra ones she meant to pack at home on the bathroom sink. She could picture them sitting there on her sink.

"Oh my god, are you gonna' be doing _that_ for eight days?" Rude asked. Elena put her hands on her hips exasperatedly.

"No, for your information I'm gonna be doin' _that_ for_ two_ days. Good to know you're so fuckin' mature about it though." Elena said leaving the top of the stairs.

"Aww, Elena. I'm just teasing! Come on! Write down what you want and I'll get it! You know I don't give a shit! You could….be doin' that for ten days! I don't care! Come on Elena!" Rude begged her. Elena returned shortly thereafter.

"Here. I only have the one left. I would appreciate one box. That's all." Elena said extending a hand toward Rude. She had written down what she wanted on a post-it note.

"I'll get it for you I swear it. Is it okay if we aren't back till like….all way late and stuff?" Rude asked.

"That's fine, This one will last…" Rude stopped her.

"Elena, I love you...but I don't need to know. That's between you and mother nature." Rude insisted.

"Fine. Eat your pizza and get outta' here. And thanks, Rude." She said leaning up against the wall opposite the handrail on the stairs.

"So uh….what are you and Tseng gonna' do while we're gone?' Rude asked. Elena scowled at him.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!" She asked folding her arms across her chest.

"Nothing! Nothing! I'm just asking what are you're plans?" Rude asked.

"How the hell would I know Tseng's plans! I'm going to finish sorting out my clothes, have some dinner, maybe read a little. Tseng's right here! You ask him!" Elena said leaving again. Soon thereafter Tseng appeared at the top of the stairs with his hands full.

"Did you want me or something?" he asked.

"Last chance to go see women much hotter than Elena get naked. If it affects your decision any, she needs tampons which will probably mean she's gonna be a bitch all evening." Tseng too, scowled at him.

"You're an insensitive and shallow bastard, you know that? I'm going to change, cook something and unwind the rest of this day. We'll get to work tomorrow." Tseng said seriously before leaving the top of the steps.

"Aww, Tseng! God, you and Elena are both way too sensitive! I'm just playin'. You know I don't think that about her! Tseng get back here!" Rude begged him. Tseng finally returned.

"You're making a drug store stop on your way back tonight?" Tseng asked.

"Yeah." Was Rude's response.

"Good. Get a bottle of Nyquil, please. Just in case." Tseng said.

"Sure. You and Elena tend the fire!" Rude said before returning to Reno and the pizza.

* * *

><p>It was around 7:30 and Tseng was rinsing the dishes off in the sink. Elena had been gone for over an hour. He didn't question where she went; she had just left. Tseng had assumed that maybe she had gone downstairs to start on a drawer of files. She had offered to clean up but Tseng had insisted that he had everything under control. As he ran warm water over the plates, he swore he heard something coming from the floor below. He shrugged it off and blamed it on the TV that was on just across the room. He found it quite calming to repetitively wash each glass and line them up on the other side of the sink to be dried. By ten minutes until eight however, he was certain he kept hearing something. It sounded like music but he couldn't determine where it was coming from. Every time he turned off the water though he kept hearing it. It wasn't the TV. Finally, he dried his hands and headed toward the stairwell where he thought the music was coming from. It was faint, but loud enough to recognize. Tseng opened up the stairwell door slowing and leaned in slightly. Yes, this was definitely music and it was coming from downstairs. He began walking down to the medical floor below quietly. The music was louder as he approached the door that would open up onto the former medical floor. He opened the heavy door and saw one light clearly beaming through one of the medical rooms. The hallway was dark otherwise. The one light created a glow radiating from a room with its door propped open. Tseng immediately noticed that the bag propping the door open was Elena's. He quietly and slowly made his way down the long hallway toward the open room. He thought about calling out to Elena; obviously it was her. But what the hell was she doing? There weren't any files in the opened room. He was barefoot and the tile was cold against his feet. Tseng stopped in his tracks when he could see the reflection in the mirrors of the room. He made certain to stay completely out of view of the mirrors possibly catching his own reflection. He was awestruck and instantly captivated at what he saw:<p>

In seven years, Tseng had never known Elena had this talent. His mouth was hanging open as he watched her reflection. The way she glided across the tiled floor, the way she made standing on her toes like that look _effortless_! He didn't know the terms but her moves were obviously trained into her in the most disciplined of forms…otherwise known as classical ballet. It appeared as if she had done this for years….15….maybe even 20….25….the point was…underneath the guns, and the missions, and the tactical prowess…Elena was a ballerina. He had never been to a ballet in his life. She had never even once hinted that the reason she was so skilled at mixed martial arts was because she could do _this_! Tseng almost felt guilty. He knew so much about Elena, yet he knew nothing of this part of her life that clearly had been years in the making. He continued watching her in a state of complete infatuation. He didn't even know this was a song you could ballet to….was that the appropriate term 'ballet to?' He didn't know and he didn't care. What he saw was unreal. Her grace and delicacy was unsurpassed. He had never seen her so feminine the whole time he had know her. In the world according to Tseng, everything Elena did was perfect and this art was no exception. She looked like a fuckin' professional dancer in there. It almost made him cringe watching the way she crushed her toes into the boxes of those shoes the way she did on all those turns. That's what he had seen earlier that evening…those shoes….those satin shoes….it appeared that she had put a lot of miles in on those shoes. The satin was stained and dirty, and they appeared to have been calamined at one point. They were very well broken in.

Her legs looked a hundred miles long in those pale pink tights against her black leotard. Tseng panicked a little because he realized he had never seen Elena wearing this little. My god everything was so…skin tight and her suit….well, it was anything but. Tseng watched in the mirror as the expression on Elena's face changed; her moves were slightly losing their precision and control. He could see her and he feared she had seen him so he moved a little farther away from the door. But he could still see her. She just stood there, her hands partially fisted. She then moved her palms to her face.

And then….the unthinkable happened. He watched painfully as she stood there so perfectly. The tears escaped her suddenly and in a torrent. She sounded like a twelve year old girl, her whimpers so high pitched and pitiful. It was painful to see her so hurt. Tseng only wished he knew what drove her to such sudden tears. It absolutely broke his heart…


	4. Dark Kiss

It was 3:30 in the morning. The lodge was so quiet. Tseng had been tossing around in his bed for at least forty-five minutes. He finally got up and combed his hand over the floor looking for his buttery-soft cotton shirt. He fumbled to turn the lamp on beside the bed. The light, though soft, was too bright for the darkness of the room. His hair fell forward around his face as he finally found his shirt on the floor. He reached over and turned the lamp off again and got dressed. Tseng opened up his door as quietly as he could and made his way carefully toward the staircase. That's all he needed was the fall down a flight of stairs. After a moment of feeling around in the dark, he found the banister. The fire had some faint burning embers left. Tseng pulled the fire screen aside and shoved three split logs into the fireplace. He thought it would be a good idea to light a starter coal and throw it in with the logs to get it burning a little faster. He sat there on the hearth after throwing a lit coal into the fire.

He reached over and pulled the screen over the open fire again, staring into the slowly igniting flames. It had cooled down quite a bit with the fire nearly out. Tseng moved over to the couch and laid down, black hair cascading out behind him. The fire slowly gained brightness. Watching the flames flare up was soothing. He sighed deeply and rolled over on his side. His mind wandered. A million things flew in and out of his head. One of those thoughts was hot tea. He pulled himself up from the couch and headed for the kitchen. The hallway was dark. There was a lamp on the table near the couch. Tseng turned it on to avoid the brightness of the kitchen lights. That would possibly wake Reno or Rude or Elena anyway. Tseng searched the cabinet over the counter for the kettle. He knew there was one up here somewhere. Besides, he was the one that had stuck it up there a couple years ago. He couldn't imagine something had happened to it. There it was, stashed away on the top shelf. Tseng turned the stove's burner on high and filled the kettle with water. It would be whistling at him in no time. Tseng searched another cabinet for the tea bags. Unfortunately, he pulled down a handful of other boxes of food, sending them falling into the kitchen floor. Putting the herbal tea box underneath the big boxes of cocoa mix, coffee grounds, and sugar was a Reno move for sure. Tseng managed to knock Elena's purse of the counter in his attempt to catch at least a couple of these falling boxes. He didn't succeed in doing so. Tseng sighed and began picking up the mess he had made. A bag of sugar, three boxes of cocoa mix, four boxes of herbal tea, three bags of coffee beans and one metal canister of coffee grounds and a bag of brown sugar. He decided he'd rearrange everything the way it was _supposed_ to fit into a cabinet. He left the black cherry herbal tea out on the counter.

Now to Elena's purse. It looked like it could hold everything in the world and a hell of a lot more expensive than the purses like this he saw other women carry. He bent down to pick up her black leather bag. He was right. He may have not known what kind of purse this was but he recognized the label and that wasn't cheap. The leather was supple and soft. He knew he shouldn't do it….but the contents had flown out everywhere, so he went through it all as he put it back inside her bag. Her wallet matched her purse. It was the same kind of leather. He opened her wallet up, which he thought was even more intrusive but…it smelled like her; the inside of it that is. She had thirty-five gil and some loose change in one of the pockets. He looked at her cards: Bank debit card, a Visa, Mastercard, Nordstrom, Victoria's Secret, her car insurance card, her health insurance card, Shinra ID, and there was some worn looking thing in the last pocket. He had to tug at it to loosen it. He didn't think anyone kept pictures in their wallets anymore but that's what it was. A picture of her and Tseng, Reno and Rude that was taken about five years ago. It caught him off guard. He remembered it quite well. He had six less inches of hair then and honestly, that was a very different man in that picture than the one that was holding it now. He gritted his teeth and fought back the tears. He wanted to be _that_ man again….not this one.

He put her picture back in it's spot and put her wallet away. He examined the other contents of her purse. There was a silky scarf thing, but it only looked long enough to be like…a headband or something. There was a compact mirror, a pack of tissues, a bottle of hand lotion: Dark Kiss. It said. Tseng unscrewed the cap and sniffed it. So _that _was it…that was the way Elena smelled. This was her magic scent and it was called Dark Kiss. He put it back in the pocket where he thought it should go. He examined her lip gloss: Wild Berry. Any other time this would have been creepy as hell but Tseng was alone and he had already admitted to himself how creepy what he was about to do was so that made it all okay. He took the plastic silver cap off and gave the tube a gentle squeeze. He swiped his finger over the tiny glob that appeared and rubbed it over his bottom lip. "Holy shit…" he said aloud, touching his tongue to his lower lip. For some reason, it turned him on like crazy…and that creeped him out even more. "Wow, you are a sick fuck." Tseng scolded himself, putting Elena's lip gloss back in it's place. He hated himself even more now for going through her things the way he was. There was only one item left: a little neon green soft case of some sort. Tseng lifted the flap: Drospirenone Ethynil/Estradril. The packet of pills inside were labeled with days of the week. It appeared to be a new packet because none of the pills were gone. He had no freakin' clue what those could have been. He shoved the packet back into her purse and put the whole thing where he had knocked it off. The tea kettle was whistling at him.

Tseng quickly killed the heat as to not wake anyone with the screaming pot. He hadn't even gotten a mug or the tea bag out yet. He found the nearest mug on the shelf above the sink and threw a tea bag into it before pouring the scalding water over the bag for it to steep. There were two sugar packets left in the little ceramic box on the stove. He made a mental note to refill that in the morning. Tseng was still tasting the sweet nectar he had smeared over his lip. He couldn't help but wonder…if Elena's lips tasted that way. Much to his dismay, there were no lemons in the refrigerator as he scanned the shelves. Well, technically there could have been lemons shoved somewhere behind all the food and the liquor. He didn't bother looking right now. Although, he could have really gone for a lemon. Tseng looked at the clock as he waited on his tea to steep: 4:00 AM. He glanced over and realized that at some point in the evening Elena had been kind enough to plug his phone in to be charged. She was thoughtful like that. Tseng let his head hit the back edge of the cabinet. He closed his eyes, which was a terrible idea because it made a hundred pictures flash before his eyes. He started to drift off a bit but then in his head he could hear screaming. He gasped and shot his eyes wide open. Tseng breathed a bit heavily a couple times and looked over at his tea. It was finished. Thanks goodness. He was more than ready for it. This would have him asleep in no time.

* * *

><p>Elena opened her eyes and yawned. She turned her clock to face her: 7:21 AM. She sat up, letting the covers fall from her naked body. After staring around he room for a few moments she stood up and went over to the dresser. Elena opened up a drawer to find the underwear she wanted. She looked at the sight of herself in the full length mirror, wearing only her silky bright pink panties. She was disgusted with herself but there was no logical reason to be. She sighed and returned to the drawer to find her bra next. She dug some clothes out of the drawer below. Elena thought it best to get breakfast started so they could get started on the files today. She quickly got dressed, brushed her teeth and headed downstairs. She gasped at what she saw halfway down the staircase and then quietly walked the rest of the steps. The fire in the fireplace was nearly out. Elena looked around and then remembered: the front room. She softly stepped as not to wake Tseng who was fast asleep on the couch in front of the fireplace. She went to the front room and got the super-soft fleece blanket that was thrown over the back of that couch. She returned to Tseng and carefully placed it over him so softly it wouldn't have woken even a fly. She moved his hair out of his face; her fingers barely grazing his cheek. The next step was to get the fire roaring again. She noticed a mug sitting on the table before the couch and she could only assume the worst. "He couldn't sleep…." She said to herself as she looked at the mug and threw three logs onto the fire. It would be going hard again in no time. She stood up from the fire, turned around and gave Tseng one more look. He looked so content. Elena took his mug and returned to the kitchen. She unplugged his phone from the charger. It had blinking the 'full' symbol for god only knew how long. Elena opened up the refrigerator and searched it. Eggs, bacon, sausage, tomatoes, onions, mushrooms and refrigerated biscuits. Oh hell yeah, this was gonna be a good morning. Elena caught sight of a bag of lemons in the very back of the fridge hidden behind the eggs. She looked at Tseng's tea mug. "He musta' not seen these. He always takes lemon." She thought to herself. Elena started setting everything out she wanted on the counter: everything she had found earlier plus butter, salt, pepper, milk, orange juice and cranberry juice. Shit, Reno and Rude weren't kidding when they had said they went grocery shopping. She started by cutting open the pound of bacon and lighting the burner. She dug around below for a large skillet and wondered if there was such thing as non-stick cooking spray anywhere. Elena opened every cabinet while the main burner heated up. There it was.<p>

She sprayed the skillet with a coating of the non-stick spray and began placing strip after strip of bacon in the large skillet. It wasn't long that it began to faintly sizzle. Elena searched for a spatula as she thought about how the day today may go. There was one thing in particular that she worried about. She shook it from her mind and proceeded to de-stem and break up the mushrooms into small pieces. She would periodically poke the bacon while doing this. She searched around for a cutting board in order to chop her onion. She never found anything but a plate would do. Before scouring the drawers for a knife she saw no reason she couldn't at least connect her headphones to her phone and listen to her playlist of music. She loved that. She honestly didn't know what she would do without it. She knew they were somewhere in her purse. Elena dried her hands off and the bacon began to sizzle a little harder. She walked around to the edge of the counter and picked up her purse. As she opened it and glanced around, she noticed that things were out of place. How could things be out of place? Her lotion was in the wrong pocket and her lip gloss was in the wrong place. "Maybe it fell off the counter or something." She told herself as she pulled her phone and her headphones out. She shoved her phone into the elastic band of her pants and reached into a drawer for a sharp knife. Elena finished breaking up her mushrooms before starting in on chopping the onion.

Her body inadvertently moved to whatever she was listening to. Clearly, Elena had been born with the gift of rhythm. The bacon was sizzling harder now, the scent beginning to fill the room. Elena shoved her mushrooms aside, now complete. She had to get some coffee started this morning. Elena was so content when she was alone like this in the mornings. Her mind didn't torment her the way it did when she laid alone in her bed at night. This kept her busy and she felt useful. It was apparent that Elena had spent plenty of time in the kitchen because she had the onion and tomato chopped quickly. She was slick with a knife. Cheese. Where was the cheese? There was no way she would touch a scrambled egg without cheese in it. Elena pre-heated the oven and opened up the refrigerator. There it was. She turned around only to see she wasn't alone anymore. "Morning." She said pulling her headphones from her ears. "I guess I woke you, huh?" Tseng shook his head and sat on the barstool on the opposite side of the counter.

"No, the bacon did." He looked a bit groggy. Elena glanced up at him as she threw the bag of shredded cheese on the counter and returned to her bacon. Tseng didn't say anything. He just watched her turn the fat-soaked slices. It did smell amazing and frankly, Tseng couldn't wait until it was done. Elena hadn't said a word either but the fact that she poured him a cup of coffee, grabbed some sugar packets from the cabinet above for him and shoved the milk in his direction spoke volumes.

"Thank you." Tseng final said pushing his hair behind his ears. It was time to pull the now crispy bacon out and drain it before cooking the sausage. "I swear I'll help you once I wake up a little."

"You don't have to." Elena assured him as she took the bacon out of the skillet with a fork, draining it on a paper plate. Once she had all the bacon out she shoved the plate toward Tseng. "Do you uh…want an omelet or eggs and biscuits or…toast or…well, you just say what you want and I'll make it." Tseng appeared to be overthinking this as tasted the bacon.

"Well, we do have a hell of a lot of work to get started on today so…uh…will you scramble me like…three eggs and…are you going to cook that sausage?" he questioned.

"Yeah." She answered.

"Okay, well I'll have some of that too then and those biscuits whenever they're done." Tseng was still waiting on the coffee to cool a little. Before Elena could say anything Rude graced them with his presence.

"Oh wow. You must really love us." Rude commented yawning.

"I can't believe you're up. You do realize that you and Reno smelled like a mini bar when you came in last night? I thought you'd be hungover." Elena reminded him.

"We totally did smell like a mini bar." Rude laughed. "Come on boss, wake up." He put his hands on Tseng's shoulders. "What do you need help with? He asked Elena, finally sitting down beside Tseng. He took the plate of bacon away from him.

"Just tell me what you want." Elena said smashing the rolled sausage between her palms and making small patties.

"An omelet. And load it up with all that stuff I see right there." Rude said referring to the onions, mushrooms, cheese and tomato.

"You got it." She answered as she placed patty after patty into the skillet. "And what do you think trouble wants?"

"He'll need an aspirin and will eat absolutely anything you shove in front of him." Rude said laughing. Elena allowed the sausage to cook while she dug around for a good omelet pan. Tseng continued to watch her without saying anything. "So, where do you think we should begin today? I was thinking it might be best if each of us stick to one file drawer at a time. You know, go alphabetically. Shred the stuff we don't need and make a pile of the files that need to be put back."

"I think that sounds like a good idea. Remember, don't go giving me those high shelves with all those boxes. You know I can't reach it for the life of me. I'm fixing breakfast after all; the least you can do is give me those low metal filing cabinets." Rude laughed at her again.

"Don't worry, they're all yours." He assured her. Elena sprayed the omelet pan with the cooking spray. "Tseng, do you want cheese in your eggs?"

"Yeah…yeah that sounds good." He answered her standing up to get a spoon for his coffee. She cracked three eggs into the skillet. Reno had finally decided to join everyone.

"I was hopin' I wasn't dreamin' about breakfast meats." He commented. Elena took a whisk and whipped the hell out of the three eggs in the skillet before throwing a fist full of cheese in with them. "I'm so glad you and Tseng know how to cook stuff. See, now if that were me…You'd all be having toast right now." Once the eggs were done, Elena scooped them out of the skillet and onto a plate.

"Here, let me pull the biscuits out and turn the sausage off." She pushed the plate toward Tseng. "Oh….butter…here you go." Now she was all set: biscuits out, meat done.

"Wait, wait, wait…what about you?" Tseng's expression was concerned perhaps even a little worried.

"I'll make mine after these two are taken care of." She said. "Don't worry…I'll eat." It was almost like it was a promise or something. "Hey can I just grab my lip gloss real quick before I start your omelet?" she asked Rude. Tseng nearly choked on his coffee.

"Hell, do whatever you want Elena. You're he chef and I would never argue with anyone willing to cook me somethin'." Rude said. Tseng watched as Elena pulled that slender tube from her purse and took the lid off. His pulse throbbed as he watched her glide the tip over her lips. He also noticed that she opened the neon green pouch and popped a pill out of it's foil container. She could now finish up the morning breakfast for Rude and Reno, then the four of them could get busy with the files.


	5. Day Two: Hands to Heaven

The paper shredder chewed away at the documents. It could only handle twenty pages at a time. If you spread them out correctly, you could cram twenty-four pages through but one had to be careful. Reno sat there with the shredder running his stack through. The stupid thing had already been emptied four times and that was a mere three hours of working on files.

"Is there room in there to shred this stack?" Rude asked.

"Uhhh…there should be. I'll have to empty it again after that stack is shredded. Seriously, can you believe all this shit?"

"It's unreal! How are we gonna' do all this in eight days? Between the four of us we've only gotten through four cabinets in nearly four hours! We only have…I don't know 12,000 more filing cabinets to go, excluding the shelves!" Rude said over exaggerating.

"True, but once we get a system down, things will move a little faster." Reno assured him.

"So…uh…what are gonna' do tonight?" Rude asked.

"It sounds like you're asking me on a date." Reno laughed at Rude. "But, to answer your question. Let's hike up to Leamon's Point. I hear the view is spectacular. We'll totally make out, man." Reno winked at him. He was teasing of course, but he was still making fun of the way Rude had asked him.

"That's a good idea. Hey…you know that Nyquil Tseng asked us to bring back last night? I uh…I think Elena drank quite a bit of it. I know it wasn't Tseng because that little plastic cup wasn't even used and it looked like there was lipstick on the bottle. Seriously, there was like….eight swigs taken out of that thing." Rude sounded concerned. Reno shook his head.

"She's messed the fuck up…ain't she Rude? I mean seriously. She don't talk about it ever but…there's somethin' goin' on with her."

"They're both a mess, Reno. They're both a mess. I don't know…how much longer I can take this. It's been four months. What if…what if she just OD's on that stuff one night or somethin'? I…couldn't live with myself if she or Tseng did some kinda' stupid shit like that."

"I don't think either of them would ever stoop that low. You said once that Tseng's just like the President….somethin' about nine lives. Man, he'd give up all eight of 'em to get the one life he once had back." It was surprisingly observant of Reno. "But you know, I say that…but I don't really know what goes on in that mind of his. Like…like why he's such a mess. I just know that he is."

"I know, but you and I both know one thing for sure…it has to do with what happened." It was all Rude said because he saw Tseng coming down he hall.

Elena was hard at work on her drawers. She had a system: throw out stack, re-file stack, Shinra Building stack. "Hey! Can anyone hear me?" she yelled from her little back corner.

"Yeah!" Rude yelled back at her.

"Has anyone thought of how we're gonna' get all the files back to the Shinra Building? We can only cram so much in the two cars that are here!" She yelled.

"That's a good point! I guess we'll figure it out when we see how many files go back to Midgar!" was Rude's reply.

"Alright!" Elena said shoving her 'Shinra Building' pile aside so she could get into the next drawer.

* * *

><p>It was a very repetitious afternoon and Reno had been right. The four of them had established their own systems of sorting all these files: Reno's was throw all the files in a big ass pile and shred the shit out of them. Rude's method was to look for all the folders with the Shinra Insignia sticker; those were the ones that went back to Midgar. Tseng's system was over the top thorough, check the dates on the inside of the files to make sure they matched the date on the outside. Throw it in the shred pile if the date was prior to 2008, throw it in the re-file pile if the date was between 2008-2009 and anything else that wasn't a patient file but a research file, went back to Midgar. Then there was Elena's method of her three little piles that she sorted drawer per drawer rather than cabinet by cabin. By 5:00 the four of them had effectively shredded over 300 pounds of paper and effectively cleared out a total of twenty filing cabinets. All of the files returning to Midgar were lined up neatly in the hall. So far, there were about sixty file folders returning to Midgar…that would likely triple by the time they were ready to return to Midgar.<p>

"Okay guys. It's after five. We gotten a ton of shit done. It's times for burgers on the grill and beer." Rude said. The thought of that made Elena cringe to herself. Nonetheless, they killed the lights in the file room and called it a day.

* * *

><p>The view from the deck that wrapped around Healen created a spectacular October view. The leaves looked as if they had been painted and the herons crooned along the water's edge. The rumble of the waterfalls was hypnotic. Elena leaned on the railing of the deck and took in the cool evening air. The smell of pines and deciduous trees and the burning coals of the grill invaded her senses. It was so serene.<p>

"Okay, Elena. How you want your burger?" Reno asked her carrying a plate of meet in one hand and a beer in the other.

"Oh, no thanks. I'm fine." She said.

"I have cheese! I could make you a cheeseburger, Elena. Put some meat on that tiny frame a' yours! Come on! Cheese, pickle, lettuce, tomato, onion, mayonnaise, mustard, and a couple strips of back from this morning? Uh huh, oh yeah. That's the stuff! What a real burger is made of!" She didn't say anything. Tseng appeared shortly thereafter with a tray of condiments that Rude had loaded him up with.

"How you want your burger, boss? 'Lena's boycotting my grilling." Reno announced. Tseng looked at her.

"You didn't eat any lunch today. You just drank a flavored water." Tseng told her.

"Yeah, well…I had a big breakfast. You saw it. And you fixed a great dinner last night. I'm not hungry." She insisted. Tseng sat the tray down on the table. Elena was fat by any means. But she was starting to get to the point where she had lost a little too much weight. Sure she was still cute, petite, and could boast perfectly balanced curves in all the right places if she were the bragging type.

"Uh…well done, Reno." Tseng answered. He walked over to Elena. "Want some wine?"

"Yeah, okay." She answered. Tseng returned through the sliding glass door to retrieve a bottle.

"Listen, uh… me an' Rude are goin' on a hike after we eat. Wanna come?" he asked her.

"No thanks, I think I'll stay in. I'm sure it will be beautiful though." Elena said. Rude and Tseng stepped outside again.

"I hope the Zinfandel was okay to open. By the way, I've really enjoyed reading on your tablet." Tseng said returning with a corked bottle, the corker and two wine glasses. He sat the glasses on the table before joining Elena along the decks railing.

"Oh! Great! I'm glad to hear that. I've liked THE VERANDA as well. I'm on chapter twenty-one. So, what did you buy on my tablet?"

"Well, I've read a lot of what you have on there. But, I also purchased this sci-fi novel called Nypnomura. And how shocked were you at the end of chapter eighteen?" Tseng asked.

"I never expected that chapter to end that way." Elena admitted.

"Alright, sit down, these won't be long." Reno announced. Tseng popped the cork on the bottle finally and followed Elena over toward the table as Reno had instructed.

"Mmm…I'm sorry." Elena said brushing her hand over Tseng's thigh after practically elbowing him as she reached for her chair. She pushed her chair in toward the table. But Tseng just stood there, paralyzed. He had no idea something that…that innocent and harmless could make _this_ happen. It had been the seventh time this month he had felt _this_. It was official: the side effects from the medication he was taking three months ago had completely dissipated. Thank. God. He desperately needed a distraction right now, didn't want one, but desperately needed one….Reno just half burned his finger off on the grill, excellent! The timing couldn't have been better. He took a deep breath and practically melted into the chair beside her. Elena was already pouring herself a rather full glass of Zinfandel.

"What the…no. Everyone's supposed to be drinking beer." Rude announced walking over to Reno.

"I haven't had a drink of beer since 1994." Tseng said taking the bottle from Elena. Rude took his glasses off and hooked them on his shirt. He appeared to be thinking of something.

"That's….that was seventeen years ago! And you woulda' been…eighteen!" Rude said opening his bottle.

"I know. I prefer to keep the track record going." He barely looked up from the bottle.

"Here." Reno shoved a plate toward Tseng.

"Thanks. It looks great." Elena barely took a breath from drinking her Zinfandel while she watched Tseng carefully dress the plain burger before him. She got a kick out of it actually, he was so meticulous about proportions. The burger sure as hell couldn't be larger than the bun it laid on. The lettuce couldn't hang over the edges more than an inch. The tomato and the onion had to stack properly and that tomato sure as hell better not be peeled or he would chuck the thing right over the railing. It was typical Tseng. He always wanted everything perfect. Elena sat her empty glass down and leaned back in her chair.

"Want some more?" Tseng asked her.

"No, thanks." She answered. Rude and Reno soon joined them at the table. It was quiet out here; with only the sounds of the wild to serenade them all. Elena looked out into the distance behind Tseng. Stray leaves hung on the breeze and fluttered effortlessly and the waterfalls in the distance rushed to the endless below. She seemed so far away in this very moment and didn't even bother to pull her boat-neck shirt back over her exposed shoulder.

"Elena, you're crazy for not gettin' in on these burgers. My god….I freakin' rule. Look, I made extra. There's plenty here. Eat, fatty." Reno said praising himself and trying to encourage her to eat something. Elena nearly broke the wine glass in front of her. She looked up at Reno with a more than serious look on her face. Tseng glared across the table at Reno as if he were about to kill him.

"Wh….wh….why would you say that? Why would you call me that? Why do…." Elena was breathing uncomfortably fast. Reno laughed even though Elena looked as if she were about to burst into tears.

"Because I'm joking! You weigh like….100 fuckin' pounds. You're anything but fat. You're not even…" Elena put her hand up.

"Stop…stop, stop, stop, stop….stop….stop it!" she was about to lose it. She had to excuse herself because one of two things was going to happen: she was either going to cry hysterically or she was going to throw up.

"See, this is why you can't trust anything that bleeds for five days and lives. God, she's so moody and…" now Tseng cut Reno off.

"You…are heartless…and you don't know fuck about her…." He still had a glare in his eyes. Reno still thought this was all a joke. He had no idea the impact of what he just said.

"Oh come on, Tseng. She's hot, she ain't fat. She's just all emotional cause chicks do that when…"

"God damn it would you fuckin' stop talking!" Tseng swallowed hard. He practically yelled at Reno, his voice slightly reverberating through the mountains.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa….boss…I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to…" Reno put his hands up as a piece offering.

"Did I not just tell you….to shut the fuck up?" Tseng was about to boil over." Rude put his burger down and walked over to Tseng.

"Hey, hey…it's okay. Take it easy, man. What's goin' on? Talk to us." Rude squeezed Tseng's shoulders hard. This was the first time a tear had ever formed in his eye in front of a colleague. "Boss, you're shakin'. Here, here…" Rude shoved Tseng's Zifandel toward him. Tseng nodded in agreement and picked up his glass.

"I'm sorry…." Tseng mumbled.

"It's okay, man." Rude was still squeezing him. Reno had never looked more serious in his life than he did right now. He just watched his boss _nearly_ flip the hell out.

* * *

><p>It was 7:00. Reno and Rude had been gone for about forty minutes. Tseng had been reading in front of the fire since they had gone but he hadn't seen Elena since she had taken off from dinner. He thought it best to check on her. Tseng took his glasses off and laid them, along with her tablet on the table before untangling himself from the blanket. He went upstairs. Her room was the first on the right, Reno was across the hall. Tseng was in the suite beside Elena, and Rude across from him. The suite at the end of the hall was empty. Tseng noticed her door closed. He knocked very softly.<p>

"Elena?" there was no answer. He knocked a little louder. "Elena?" he called to her again. "El…Elena? I'm….I'm comin' in okay?" he called behind the door after having gotten no answer again. "Please be dressed, please be dressed, please be dressed…"he said to himself a thousand times as he slowly turned the handle. Her door barely cracked open, but he needed it open a little further to see anything. He carefully pushed it open just slightly. He could see the curtains fluttering; the window was open. Her bed was unmaid but there was no one in here. He opened the door a little farther. The shower wasn't running, the bathroom door wasn't closed…she wasn't in here. "Shit…" he said audibly noticing her bra laying there on her sheets and there it was again: Dark Kiss. This was a larger bottle. It was sitting on the night stand beside the bed. He opened her door all the way, the open window must have blown the door shut. He caught sight of a piece of notebook paper underneath the bottle labeled Dark Kiss. Naturally, he didn't have his glasses. He couldn't read the damn thing from up here. He didn't dare touch it but he did bend down to see what it was. He could feel the color fall out of his face by what he read. There was another problem also.

Tseng left her room quickly, closing the door behind him again. His heart was pounding. After a couple deep breaths, he regained his composure a little. He wondered if he knew where she was…

He had been right, that light was on again down on the medical floor. He had to be careful because he didn't want her catching sight of him. He had been pretty safe in the place he was standing the day before so he made his way down the hallways as quietly as he could. Sure enough, there she was. Thank god he was wearing soft flannel pants that didn't make any noise when he moved. She was dressed differently tonight, a pale pink leotard and black leg warmers. The black chiffon skirt moved with her. He watched her adjust the bobby pins on the black headband she was wearing. It kept the stray hairs out of her face. Tseng wondered what the powdery looking thing on the floor was. He didn't see it the day before. Elena picked it up and threw it to the floor creating a cloud of white powder. He watched her put her hands on her hips and step in the coating on the tile. She then twisted the ends of her shoes in it. He watched her roll over on her toes one at a time; wondering how the fuck she did that. She tugged on the thin straps of her leotard and looked in the mirror. It was cool down here tonight and clearly, the fabric covering her was too thin. She dug around in her bag and pulled out a painfully thin white shrug sweater. It wouldn't help much. Hell, Tseng didn't give a shit.

He wondered what she was doing now. Dancers called this 'marking'. You went through the motions mostly with your arms and only minimal movement of the feet. He watched her do this for a couple minutes before stopping and just staring in the mirror for a moment. Tseng pulled away against the wall, afraid that he had been seen. Oh god….he could hear the clunk of her footsteps….was she coming to the door. He could hear her music start. He was safe. Tseng let his body relax again and leaned over a bit again. God, this was a beautiful song. As beautiful as he thought her movements were the night before…._this _was even more breathtaking. Fluid, flawless and moving. There was a painful longing, and an enchanting grace in her motions. It was as if every move she made was a representation of what weighed heavy on her heart. And the words…raise your hands to heaven and pray….that we'll be back together someday. She didn't cry tonight. There was silence in the room.

"Do it again…oh god, please…do it again…" Tseng begged to himself.


	6. Day Three: Tighter

Tseng's breath escaped him heavier and it became shallower in nature. He kept lightly gripping the soft flannel sheets with his left hand. Tseng gritted his teeth, doing everything in his power to repress the deep moan that escaped him. It was intense, perhaps even a bit on the involuntary side. He was louder than he had wanted to be, but it didn't matter. He hadn't been able to get this far until about a week ago. Honestly, the mess that had partially covered his right hand was an accomplishment. Tseng sunk into the pillow as his pulse still raced. He closed his eyes. He knew there was a mess to clean up but he was so….unbelievably relaxed. He wished that could have lasted a lot longer…it used to…but…that was months, and months ago. It would come back eventually. Tseng would wash his sheets or his blanket or…whatever else in the morning. He wiped his hand over the sheets beside him.

* * *

><p>The next morning Elena shivered as she stepped into the hot shower. It had gotten cold in her room overnight. The central heating in Healen didn't circulate well on the upper floor, which was part of the reason the fireplace was added after the fact. She had closed her bathroom door to keep the steam in. Rude and Reno were downstairs troubleshooting the wireless internet connection. The four of them were supposed to conference in to Rufus this morning at 9:00. Elena wanted to stay in this hot shower forever. It felt wonderful against her skin.<p>

"So what do you think?" Reno asked.

"I think if you and I aren't careful…we're gonna get our heads bit the hell off. Aha! There we go. It connected that time." Rude said. Reno didn't say anything.

"Hey." Tseng said approaching the two of them.

"Morning." Rude said. "Shit, I lost it again."

"What?" Tseng questioned as he wrapped an elastic band around long hair several times.

"This internet connection keeps timing out." Rude said.

"Let me get my glasses." Tseng said touching the front of his chest, thinking he had put them on his cashmere sweater before coming downstairs. He was surprised to find that they weren't there. "Hold on." He walked over tot eh bottom of the steps. "Elena! Elena, can you hear me?" he was lucky she had just gotten out of the shower.

"Yeah!" she yelled back from her open door at the top of the steps.

"Will you bring my glasses when you come downstairs? I think they're on the nightstand or on the dresser."

"Okay." She called back.

"Have either of you put any coffee on?" he asked of either Reno or Rude. Whoever would answer first.

"Yeah, there's a full pot." Reno answered. Elena tugged on her plaid, flannel shirt until she had all the buttons fastened. Her stomach screamed at her for food. Elena ran a brush through her wet hair and jammed it behind her ears before going in to Tseng's room to look for his glasses. She looked at his open closet wondering why he had brought a suit….of course she was one to talk. She had done the same. His glasses weren't on the night stand so she scanned the top of his dresser. Elena ran her fingers over the worn leather of his wallet and noticed that he was still using prescription eye drops. There was also a bottle of aspirin beside the drops. His glasses weren't here either so she thought it best to check the bathroom. Elena eyed his soft and heavy blankets and hunter green flannel sheets. The blankets nor the pillow cases matched the sheets at all but his bed looked more than inviting. She walked around the edge tracing her hand lightly over the corner before going into his bathroom and turning the light on. There they were, lying on the sink beside a dark gray shirt. She leaned forward, feeling a high from the scent she inhaled. She put his glasses in the small pocket on her shirt and turned the light out again. Elena didn't get far. She only took about four steps before her eyes shot to her left. She stopped and turned to face Tseng's bed. She gasped softly before covering her mouth. She looked around as if someone were watching her. Elena reached out and pushed the covers very slowly away. She wasn't a moron; she knew messes like these.

"Yes…" Elena uttered the word under her breath but she felt like a sicko the minute she said it. She was the only one who knew the true significance behind this. She moved the covers back exactly where they had been. She had to get downstairs but the thought of what she had just seen would be burned into her mind. She managed to smile as she gave Tseng's room one last once over before heading downstairs. Part of her smile was also an indicator that she already knew what would happen next…simply because she knew how Tseng was. Apparently the internet connection had been fixed as Elena appeared downstairs once more because Rude was logged in to the Shinra website. Tseng wasn't sitting with Rude and Reno anymore. "My god, how many new e-mails do you have?" Elena asked as she walked behind the couch.

"I know right? The thing is that you, Reno and Tseng are here with me. All of these are from…I have no idea who these are from." Rude said scanning through his messages. Elena walked into the kitchen.

"Here you…" she pulled Tseng's glasses out of her pocket but stopped midsentence.

"Please…please…eat. Please?" Tseng begged her. He traded her a waffle for his glasses. Elena looked at the thick, battered cake. It was drenched in syrup and butter…god it looked amazing. She looked up at Tseng. Miserable concern was spread over his face. She smiled.

"Can I have chocolate milk with it?" Tseng breathed a monstrous sigh of relief.

"Hell, Elena. You can have a frozen pizza with it." Tseng confessed as he tried to pull the chocolate milk out of the refrigerator without pulling a hundred other things out with it. She began inhaling the waffle like a hound dog.

"How did you sleep?" she asked. Elena knew the answer to that already. She barely breathed in between bites.

"I slept better than I've slept in weeks." Tseng admitted handing a glass of milk over to her.

"Thank you…you know, for…for all this." Elena said softly.

"It's no big deal. I was going to make myself one anyway." It was a horrible lie because clearly Tseng had only made one waffle. All he wanted was for her to eat. He couldn't help but watch her guzzle the chocolate milk as if it were the last thing she would ever drink. Reno called for Tseng from the other room and so he left Elena to herself. Elena sat there at the counter not even slightly offering to stop eating. It wasn't much longer that she could hear Rufus's voice from the other room. She got up from her high chair and walked over to the refrigerator to get the chocolate milk out once more. She refilled her glass, picked up her plate and headed into the other room. Sure enough, there was Rufus on the laptop screen. She squeezed herself in between Rude and Tseng.

"What the hell, Elena…." Tseng immediately shot eyes of death at Reno.

"…uh why wouldn't you come over here by me?" he asked clearly changing what he was going to say at the last moment.

"Morning, Rufus." Elena greeted him.

"Hi there. So, how'd the day go yesterday?" Rufus asked anyone who would answer.

"Went well. We got a lot done. Still a shitload more to go." Rude said.

"I understand. One thing I need the four of you to do is to make going through the shelves your top priority tomorrow. I'm questioning the location of some of the files that record the first cases of geostigma before the infection officially had that label. I don't know what the files would be labeled. Anyway, I need you to locate those filed in particular. There should be about twelve of them. If it doesn't interfere with your system, make that the top priority today."

"Yeah, we can do that." Reno answered him.

"Excellent. I realize it may take most of the day so I won't check in with you regarding what you find until tomorrow. Remember, there will likely only be around twelve files." Rufus said. "What's the weather like there?"

"It's beautiful." Rude told him.

"Good. It's been an off and on rainy mess here. I have a public press conference in a couple hours but I'm glad to hear you're making progress. Call if you need anything, okay?" Rufus said.

"Sure thing Rufus." Tseng commented before swallowing the last of his coffee.

"Very well. I'll tough base with you tomorrow." It was the last thing he said before disconnecting their video conference.

"There we have it. Gotta hit the shelves today." Reno said slapping Tseng's back before standing up.

* * *

><p>The four of them had been working on the shelf files for nearly four hours. There had been seven shelves so full in fact, the particleboard that was holding them up was bowing. Tseng and Elena were outside shoving two very full bags of shredded papers into the large garbage bin around the back side of Healen.<p>

"Hey! Hey! Reno? Can you come over here? I'm about to drop all this!" Rude yelled.

"Hold on, man! I gotta' put this pile down!" Reno yelled back at him. But it was too late, papers went flying everywhere.

"Oh shit….that's a huge ass mess." Reno said realizing he was too late to stop this from happening. This would take forever to sort out and clean up. "Dude, I'm sorry. I shoulda' been a little quicker. Reno bent down and looked at all the papers.

"Ooooooh shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit….Rude! Did you even know what files were up there!" Reno asked excitedly.

"No? Why?" he wondered stepping down from the stool he was on.

"Rude! Oooooh shit, Rude. We have a problem….Tseng and Elena's confidential files were in that mess!" Reno said frantically. "Ooooooh shit, shit, shit…." Reno stared frantically picking up papers. Rude stared down at the pile more than mortified.

"What do we do?" he asked. Reno sighed.

"Tseng and Elena are workin' on the shelves in the other room…I say….we read em'." Reno said. Rude's eyes grew larger than they ever had before.

"Are….are you….CRAZY!" Rude said rather excitedly.

"Well….I've already seen way too much." Reno said seriously. There was silence between them. Rude finally nodded.

"Okay, but we should close the door. I mean…we don't know what happened…at all" Rude said trying to justify reading the files that had strung all over the place amongst a thousand other papers that weren't a part of Tseng or Elena's files. His pulse raced at what was already exposed. "Oh my god…." He said under his breath. "…..oh shit…." He picked up more papers. Rude nearly began to panic a little. "….oh my god…..no…..no….NO!" he couldn't contain himself as he found more and more and more…one more gruesome than the other. Unfortunately, those were just the pictures he saw. He hadn't read the first bit of narrative or doctor's evaluations.

Tseng and Elena were emptying the shredded papers. "Uh…it's probably….going to be a nice evening…" Tseng said as he and Elena walked toward the door.

"I'd say you're right." She agreed. Tseng shook his fist repeatedly in the air.

"Um…" it was only now that he realized he had absolutely no end to this sentence.

"Hey….are you okay?" Elena asked, rather concerned. Tseng's eyes were glued to her hand on his arm.

"Yeah…I….um…" Tseng shook his head. "…never mind. It's not important."

"Okay." Elena shoved the door open. "Only in a little more to go. Two more shelves and we've recovered four files."

"Yeah, Rude and Reno will likely find the rest in the room they're working in."

"Reno, listen to this. Patient was administered an additional sixteen units of restore materia to stop internal bleeding of the intestine and stomach making total materia administration forty-seven units over the course of two days. Patient placed…" Rude swallowed hard. "…patient placed on 24-hour suicide watch. Patient reports hallucinations. Physical symptoms of fever, night sweats, racing pulse and anxiety are present. Diagnosis of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder imminent. Patient has been placed on 150 mg of Citalopram for depression and post-traumatic symptoms, 25 mg of Xanax for anxiety and 50 mg of Lunesta for sleep disorders that will emerge as a result of trauma. Patient's progress will continue to be monitored daily…that's Tseng's report for just one day." Rude said. Reno didn't say anything. "Reno?" Rude looked up to see tears in Reno's eyes.

"Of the three remnants, the youngest one by the name of Kadaj was by far the most brutal. This was evidenced by the presence of twenty-two broken bones and multiple lacerations from to whipping inflicted on the female by Kadaj. The female was found gagged, bound by her wrists, and naked, hanging from a tree branch, her blood creating a pool beneath her. She was in a near unconscious state when found and unable to speak for two days due to swelling of the mouth and tongue from prolonged gagging. This report was completed by Vincent Valentine." Reno read it verbatim before wiping his eyes. Rude just stared at the picture that had apparently been taken at the Shinra hospital of Tseng only moments after having been returned to Midgar from the Forgotten City. Rude shook his head and appeared to be fighting back his own feelings of anger. Anger for not even being remotely aware of what Tseng and Elena had been through. And this….this was only about one percent. They were only reading about the physical symptoms and the hospital reports…not the internal storm Tseng and Elena had been dealing with for nearly four months.

"I'll check the rest of these files and hand them to you okay?" Elena asked of Tseng as they returned to the room in which they were working.

"That's fine." Tseng said standing behind her while Elena was on the stepladder to reach the top shelf. They had cleared out the bottom shelf first. Tseng hated standing this close to her because it made him a nervous wreck. Her smell, the way her jeans sat dangerously low on her hips, the small of her back that he could almost touch every time she reached up to the shelf above her.

"Here you go." She turned and handed Tseng three files. Tseng nearly dropped them because he wasn't prepared for the sweet sight that assaulted his eyes. "I'll get a couple more." She turned around again and all Tseng wanted to do was wipe the sweat from his forehead. She turned around and plopped two more thick files into Tseng's hands.

"I'll put these down and uh…once you get the rest we'll shred them."

"Oh shit, Reno. Shit…" Rude was still going through narratives and picture after picture. He….he….he lost over three pints of blood and was only a matter of minutes from bleeding to death.

"These should be the last of them." Elena said handing Tseng three more files from the small pile she was working in. "Okay, should we shred these or get the files Reno and Rude have first?" she asked.

"Let me see what Reno and Rude have first." Tseng said sitting the stack down beside the shredder. "I'll be back in a moment." Tseng said as Elena stepped back up on the ladder and began scanning another set of files. Tseng walked across the hall, noticing the door closed. He opened the door and instantly felt himself go pale.

"What the…what the hell are you doing?" Tseng asked, barely able to get the words to escape his dried up mouth. He started to pant a bit. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" he yelled this time, his voice cracking.

"Tseng, take it easy. We didn't mean to…." Rude held his hand out.

"Why the hell would…why the hell would you….why would you read the fuckin' files! Huh! Why….why the hell would you read them!" he screamed at them. Elena heard this in the other room and instantly froze where she was. "WHAT THE HELL!" he was borderline hysterical.

"Tseng, the files just….they fell off the….we didn't know they…" Tseng interrupted Reno.

"What do you know….WHAT DO YOU KNOW, NOW! HUH! ONLY ME AND ELENA WERE SUPPOSED TO SEE THOSE!" Elena hadn't moved in the other room. "What do you know….WHAT DO YOU FUCKIN' KNOW! Did you get to the part where they….they fuckin' blinded me with some kind of shit that the doctor's couldn't identify! Huh! DID YOU READ THAT! Now you know why I can't see up close anymore! Now you know….why I need glasses to fuckin' drive after dark! The doctor's couldn't restore all my vision, alright! Did you read the part about how I couldn't fuckin' sleep for days on end! ANSWER ME!"

Tseng didn't give them a chance to answer though. He was livid, boiling and in tears. "Did you read the part about how….how the bones in Elena's arms were nearly pulled apart because she was...she was hanging from a FUCKIN' TREE FOR EIGHT FUCKIN' DAYS! Or what about the part where I spent hours and hours SCREAMING MY FUCKIN' HEAD OFF in the hospital until I nearly scared my vocal cords! Did you know me and Elena have been seeing a counselor once a week for FOUR FUCKIN' MONTHS! Is that in there! HUH! Or what about the part where….where I've been so fuckin' pumped full of drugs and shit just to feel even a little bit normal that I've been fuckin' IMPOTENT for three months! Did you know that! DID YOU! Elena's got a fuckin' eating disorder….she's had it for four fuckin' months! Of course…..of course this fuckin' genius made it WORSE! SHE'S 11 FUCKIN' POUNDS UNDERWEIGHT! Did you know they wrote SHINRA WHORE across her stomach in my blood! HOW DO YOU…FUCKIN' THINK I FELT! I LET HER….THE HELL…DOWN….I NEARLY GOT HER KILLED!"

Tseng had collapsed in a miserable ball on the floor. "Did you know….they beat the shit outta me….they fuckin' beat me 'till it felt like there were no bones left in me to break." Tseng sobbed. Elena was leaned up against the wall in the opposite room bawling her eyes out. "They…..they were….two fuckin' minutes from raping her nearly unconscious body….if HE hadn't shown up to save us…they woulda'…." Tseng clenched his fists. "…I HATE YOU BOTH SO FUCKIN' MUCH!" Rude stood up.

"I can't take this any more! I can't take seein' you like this! I can't take seein' her like this, boss! He and I had no FUCKIN' CLUE the HELL that you two went through! You know why we didn't know! Because you two NEVER….FUCKIN'…TALK ABOUT IT! That's your problem Tseng! That's why you can't get the hell over it! Because you wont' talk about it to Elena! All you two do…is WORK! You work to avoid dealing with the pain. Tseng, you and Elena are the best fuckin' team Shinra has ever had….you're better than me and him for god's sake! But you know what, you're broken! You two…are so fuckin' broken! And it's so obvious, Tseng! It's so fuckin' obvious….that…you're fuckin' in LOVE with her! Just say it Tseng! Say it and free yourself for God's sake! I don't know which one of you is crazier about the other. That's half the reason you two work so well! But oh my god, you two….walk on eggshells around each other! You two are so busy fuckin' BLAMING yourselves for what happened to the other….that you can't even BEGIN to realize how FUCKING GOOD you are together and how what happened to you was NEITHER of your faults!" Rude was almost as loud as Tseng had gotten just moments earlier.

"You two got some serious shit to work through….you two…got lots and lots of talkin' to do. I suggest…you fuckin' start right now." Reno interjected. " Why the hell do you think me an' Rude lave left this play the past two nights. God, we've been hopin' that somethin' would happen to force you two TO FUCKIN' TALK!" Reno paused. "It's just like the fuckin' song says boss…there was this woman…and there was this man. There was this moment they had a chance…to hold on to what they had. How could they be so in love and still never see…now nothing could be sadder than…this woman and this man. That….that's what me and Rude deal with every single day…watching you two! BECAUSE YOU WONT' FUCKIN' TALK ABOUT NOTHIN' TO NO ONE!" Reno yelled sincerely.

"You know what I hope, Tseng? You know what I hope! I hope….that you two talk…I hope you talk for half the night. I hope you two get out….every fuckin' thing you need to say. And then, I hope to god you fuck the other half the night away. Because it's so damn obvious in the way you look at her, that it's everything in your power to keep your hands off of 'er. I hope…that you two are so fuckin' exhausted from all the talking and all sex that neither of you can work in these damn files tomorrow. And god only knows neither of ya' can fuckin' sleep! Shit…I hope you two sleep until noon tomorrow. God, Tseng…..god….let me and Reno work in these fuckin' files and please…please I'm beggin' you. You and Elena gotta fix yourselves." Rude was so sincere and he was so right. Tseng didn't say a word. He had calmed down a little, he had to take at least a little ownership and admit that they were right.

"Boss….we didn't read the files to piss you off…we read the files because we didn't know anything about the shit you been through." Reno said. Elena appeared in the doorway, the tears pouring down her cheeks.

"I'm in love with you…" Elena shook her head. "…it's my fault…" she put her hand over her mouth. "…oh god it's all my fault…" Just when Tseng had stopped crying; that only made it start again, even worse. Tseng stood up from his miserable wad on the floor and moved toward Elena faster than he ever had before.

"Nothing's you're fault…." He mumbled into the top of her head. She had never in her life been squeezed this tightly by anyone. Likewise, Elena dug her fingers into Tseng's soft sweater, her fingertips jamming hard into his shoulders. Reno unburied himself from the pile of papers he was smothered in and stood up.

"Go….go….go. We'll keep workin' on this. We'll get it done. You two…just…just go upstairs and start wherever the hell you need to start." Reno closed the door again and looked at Rude. He sighed exhaustedly.

"I don't know about you…but the thing that hit me like a shit ton a' bricks…" Rude stopped Reno.

"I know…I didn't know…he'd been impotent…" Rude paused. "…I wonder if he still is."

"We'll find out." Reno said. "I'm glad that happened. Come on, let's clean this up. We need to finish these and get the hell outta' here."

"Yeah….yeah, let's do it." Rude shook his head repeatedly and continued sorting the papers of Tseng's file into chronological order.


	7. Sweet on One Side, Dirty on the Other

They sat there on the couch in front of the fire, quite literally all cried out, all talked out, exhausted….and beyond relieved. In fact, they hadn't felt this much relief or freedom from burden in four months. They had started out facing each other but that was nearly three hours ago. It was 1:06 AM and now Elena was in his lap. "Why did you choose to go to a woman counselor?" she asked.

"I gave it some serious thought and…I didn't think I could…talk candidly and honestly…with a man. I don't think a man would have quite understood the way Dr. Humbolt does. One of my…homework assignments that I've been working on for weeks has been….trying to tell you how much you...how much I… As you can see, I've been miserably unsuccessful at this. Every week I've….my god I can talk to Dr. Humbolt about you for an hour…but I haven't been able to talk to you for twenty minutes without…being all…me-ish. Well, until tonight." Tseng explained. She didn't take her eyes off him.

"Dr. Cardimum…in our last session….she did something she'd never done before. She looked right at me and said Elena, you're in love with him. And I answered her, yes…yes I am. I said that….he makes me feel…so free, uninhibited and…like I can just…just let it all go. And then she said to me. There's something else that makes you feel that way. And she was right so, she went on to say that I needed to achieve that feeling before I could ever tell you. And that's when…"Elena paused. "…you never knew this about me because it scared me to tell you but…that's when I uh…started dancing in the basement of the Shinra building." Tseng needed to do his best to play dumb right now. But then he thought maybe he should tell her what he knew…

"How long have you…done the ballet thing?" Tseng asked her. A funny look crossed Elena's face.

"How did you know about that?"

"Because, I've watched you dance for the past two days that we've been here. It was an accident the first day….but not the second. It's the most…compelling and beautiful thing I've ever seen. When….how long have you done that?"

"Twenty-seven years." She answered.

"Does it hurt?" Tseng asked, squeezing her back tighter.

"Yeah, but…only if the lambs wool shifts in the shoes or…if it gets too compacted when you're rehearsing." She explained. Strange, she wasn't even half-pissed that he had watched her.

"You uh….you look…very free and uninhibited when you do it." He told her. "In fact you're…just beautiful….when you're there and…it's just you and the floor. I don't know shit about ballet but…there's nothing more in this world that would make me happier than to take you to see one. Oh….I also saw your list so I know that's on it…god, I'm….I'm sorry. But…I did see it on your nightstand. That was…not so much an accident but me secretly….I don't know…me….being…really…" Elena cut him off by pressing her lips into his. It was a kiss that was approximately four months long, long overdue. Elena let her body sink into him, putting her hands around his neck.

There was no need for I'm sorry's anymore or it's all my fault's. They were passed that. They had _finally_ resolved that. They had covered nearly everything in four hours: how they each felt so much guilt over what happened, how they each blamed themselves for what happened to the other, and how all they wanted was to save the other during the ordeal. They had talked about everything that happened after they had returned: not being able to even hardly look at each other in that first month, not knowing how to cope with anything. They talked about the miserable sleepless nights, and the awful images that flashed in their minds the minute they _did_ close their eyes. They had covered absolutely everything…except this part right here. This part…would change everything. This was the part they had both longed for…but just couldn't get to.

Elena could feel hungry hands on her back, caressing her, wrapping tighter around her. Elena barely pulled her lips away from his, her eyes not filled with tears, but instead earnestness. "Did you read both columns on the list?" she asked, straddling his lap. She didn't give him a chance to answer right away. She kissed him again, letting the weight of her body rock forward on him. Tseng didn't even try to control where his hands roamed on her body. It made Elena ignite to feel the way his fingers teased the elastic edge of her thong. She moaned weakly at the feeling of him unbuttoning her jeans.

"You're….you're gonna hate me for this but….yes…yes I read both columns." He admitted, feeling her hands create an uncontrollable stir in him. In spite of all the therapy they each had undergone in four months….this would get them farther than all the talking in the world would to licensed professionals. Elena smiled.

"So…you uh….probably think I'm…Dr. Cardimum thought it would be a…good idea for me to…make a….nice column and a….a not so…..nice….column." Elena confessed.

"Except…your columns were labeled…sweet and dirty." Tseng reminded her. It actually made Elena laugh and turn rather pink. It was such a comforting sight.

"Yeah….yeah they…they were."

"I wanna do everything on the list…everything…both columns, Elena." Tseng assured her before shoving her down on the couch and letting the weight of his body sink into her. He held on to her tighter than ever. Elena wrapped her arms around his shoulder and her legs around his hips. "Oh god…I just wanna hold you…god how I love you…" Number three on her 'sweet' list: Hold me and let your breath hit my neck. Number three on her 'dirty' list: Make me come.

"I have something to tell you…" Elena said as she let her hands wander.

"What?" he asked softly, squeezing her shoulders.

"You're not the only one who knows things…" She moaned and let her hands travel all over him. "…I saw the stain…" she breathed heavily. "…and if you aren't careful…you're gonna end up with a mess in your pants…and I'd rather it be…in me…I'm sure…you must be…starving."

Tseng looked at her, deep brown eyes melting in to blue ones. "I slept…I slept the whole night…after _that_…I _slept."_ Elena buried his head underneath her chin, inhaling the clean smell of his hair and letting one hand slide over his cheek. When the sexual tension had built up for so long between two people….one thing was certain…eventually, it would end in one hell of a big….boom.

"Isn't it a relief….to feel normal again? My god, Tseng….isn't….isn't that the one thing that….makes a man feel….you know what I mean." Elena said softly and genuinely.

"Yeah, I…I know what you mean…and that's…that's very observant of you. Thank you…for understanding how much that affects a man." Tseng said before kissing her again. Elena did her very best to unfasten the buckle of his belt but couldn't manage it.

"Do you know you're the first kiss I've had in a year?" Elena confessed pulling his lips back into hers again.

"If you haven't been kissed in a year…how long's it been since…" Elena stopped him.

"Nearly two." She said. "I think…we need to go upstairs."

"You're right…we do." Tseng agreed with her. "Oh shit…" Tseng had just thought of something. "I meant to change my sheets today and I didn't do it. They're…a mess. And if you and I are going to do number six in your left column it…it's just not right…on stained sheets." Number six on her 'sweet' column read: keep me warm during a cold rain.

"Well, if we do number six in the sweet column and number three in the dirty column, we'll end up making a bigger mess on your sheets. Just wash 'em tomorrow." Elena promised him. "And…I don't think it's raining tonight."

"Yes…it is." Tseng said turning his head sideways and pointing at the drops on the windows of the lodge.

"Oh wow it is…it's like…it's like nature knew…to shed a tear for us…" Elena paused. "…god I'm sorry that was…so lame of me. I'm just…I'm really touchy right now, in case you didn't know." She couldn't help but laugh.

"No, it wasn't lame." Tseng assured her. He stood up from the couch and pulled her up with him. He squeezed her hands and led her up the stairs with him.

"Grab a blanket off your bed. It's 50 degrees out there and if we're gonna' have a window open…which we are…we're gonna' need another one."

"Maybe I'll grab my list too." Elena said. "But it seems you have it memorized so…maybe not, now that I think about it." It was the first joke Elena had made in four months and it actually made Tseng laugh at her. He reluctantly released her so she could wad the heaviest blanket on her bed into a ball. "You know…I think you should make a list." She turned the light out in her bedroom and followed Tseng into his.

"What? Why would I do that?" He asked helping her rearrange the covers on his bed.

"Because, you already have the list in your mind. Dr. Cardimum would have told you to make a list if she were your counselor.

"Okay, yeah…yeah, I'll make a list." Tseng assured her.

"Alright…but not tonight you won't." She said watching him shove the nearby window open, cold rain blowing toward the screen. Elena left to get the pillows off her bed.

"Shit…it's cold out there tonight. You'll be…Elena?" Tseng turned around for her only to see her absence. She returned only moments later, throwing her pillows on his bed.

"I'm sorry, were you saying something? I needed to get these pillows." She closed the door behind her. Tseng put his arms around her.

"Nothing that can't wait until I get you a little more naked." He kissed her hard and pushed her down into a sea of flannel and fleece. Elena wrapped her arms around strong shoulders. Elena's jeans slid off her hips easily, mainly because Tseng had already managed to get them unbuttoned. His breath shuddered at the night-soaked sight of her barely-there satin. Tseng threw her jeans to the floor beside the bed and pushed clammy palms up her thighs; letting his fingers trace over the thin black strips at her hips. He continued pushing his hands up her body. Her stomach was painfully thin. Tseng didn't waste any time unbuttoning the buttons of her blue and green flannel shirt. "You're so fuckin' gorgeous."

"You're one to talk." Elena breathed heavily trying her best to paw at him. As far as she was concerned, he couldn't get undressed fast enough. Tseng read her signals, quickly shedding his shirt to the floor where he had already thrown her pants. Elena wanted nothing more than to feel him against her. "Take off some more." She demanded of him. He said nothing, but did as she requested. Elena reached her hands out to him, allowing her palms to feel all of him. She sighed a little as she indulged in him. The desperation in Tseng's face spoke volumes. He hadn't been touched this way, he hadn't been wanted this way for so, so long. Elena had to surrender her hands to him as Tseng pulled flannel from her shoulders and pulled her silky camisole over her head in one smooth motion. Her satin bra was just as smooth as her camisole. Elena reached for him again, pulling his body down against hers. His skin was warm, his breath hot against her shoulder and the rest of his body…hungry for her.

"Elena….oh god…your…hands." He moaned at her. She pulled his lips into hers and moved his hands to her breasts. That was a little dangerous because anything could pull the trigger at this point. In no time, she was topless from the waist up. The cold Healen air blew in the window sending a wave of chills over Tseng's back.

"I've felt everything….now show me." She begged as she struggled to slide wet, slinky panties off her hips. Tseng's eyes had never looked more uninhibited or more feral. He undressed her and followed in suit in a hurried fashion.

"You want on top?" he asked.

"You haven't been a man for months…now's your chance. You be on top….you be on top…all night." Her words were like a sweet venom and so true. Granted, her words were merely figurative because this would last under a minute. Of course, they'd recover fairly quickly too. Elena pulled his hair loose from its elastic band, letting long jet waves fall onto her skin. Tseng pushed her legs apart and put his hands on the outside of her shoulders. He rested his forehead against hers.

"Listen…if this…if this lasts….like ten seconds…."

"Sssshhhh…." Elena hushed him. "…it'll be the best ten seconds I've ever felt. Now fuck me before I come over the sight of your naked body on me right now." Elena whispered. He kissed her and Elena planted her hands on his shoulder blades, her fingers intertwined in his hair. She moaned at the feeling of famished cock shoving inside her. Her reaction was actually a combination of soft skin brushing against her nipples _and_ him pushing into her. Tseng looked at her, her eyes were full of bliss in the darkness. "Tseng…" she gasped for him. The rhythm of her panting was more than sexy. "Touch me…" she begged. "Touch me…" Tseng shifted his weight on her and put his hands on her breasts. That only made her moan for him louder. At this point, he was certain a woman had never wanted him so badly in all his life. That certainly didn't help him fight the feeling of wanting to explode inside her right now. But Elena knew…only one of them would come this time…and she knew she was close….but she needed one more minute…Tseng didn't have that. She could see in eyes, hear it in his breath, she could feel it in the way he touched her and in the way his hips pushed into her. It was exhilarating, satisfying and downright hot. Tseng and Elena were the only two who didn't realize that they should have been fuckin' each other long ago.

She held on to him tighter, begging him to come…knowing it was imminent anyway. She was careful not to pull stray strands of hair as she clung to him.

"Elena…" he cried for her, knowing he couldn't hold this back another minute. And then….

* * *

><p>Rude had been more than half asleep, but now he was knocking on Reno's door. Reno <em>had <em>been asleep. He clumsily stumbled to the door and opened it. He yawned and looked at Rude in the blackness of the hallway. "Yeah….yeah, you and I should probably just work on the files all night. God only knows we ain't gonna' get no sleep." Reno leaned his head against the doorframe.

"We will…but it will be on regular intervals. By the way, since I couldn't sleep I timed that…one minute twenty-seven seconds. They have a lot of work to do." Rude said yawning.

"Shiiiiiiiit…..do they ever….hey….night." Reno said before closing his door again.

* * *

><p>Tseng and Elena were under the covers, their arms intertwined. She could still feel him inside of her, in more ways than one. Despite the rain moistening the carpet slightly in front of the window and sending a dampness into the room, they weren't cold and they wouldn't be amongst the layers of covers in which they were bundled.<p>

"I promise the next time you'll…" Elena interrupted him.

"No, no, no, no…because the minute either of us put any kind of pressure on ourselves to make it happen…nothing will happen." She assured him. "Believe me…Tseng…_that_…was great. I've been talking to Dr. Cardimum about that moment for four months. Well, okay. That and…everything that you and I already talked about tonight." That brought a comforting smile to Tseng's face. That was possibly the first time he had truly smiled in ages. Elena sighed deeply. "God, I am so relaxed right now."

"If you're relaxed…then I'm….oh, god, Elena." Tseng kissed her jaw bone and shifted his weight farther onto her. She watched his hand rub over hers. "I uh…I want to take you out tomorrow. Dr. Humbolt's been assigning me that homework for two and a half months. God, I'd love to see the notes she's taken on me these past few months. She has to be thinking to herself 'god he's fucked up from being tortured _and_ from being secretly in love. This guy's got issues beyond issues."

"You know, Tseng. There's still gonna' be rough days. There's still gonna' be nights where…where we'll be pacing the floor." Tseng stopped her.

"You're right but…you have me…you have me to…you know to…to take care of you." Of all the things that had been said tonight, that was perhaps the bravest. Elena wiggled around and looked at him, intertwining her fingers with his.

"You said…you wanted to take me out and that…I have you to take care of me. That sounds an awful lot…like…like maybe you want me to be your girlfriend." She said,

"Yes. Yes….so much. Elena…six days before we left for The Northern Crater, there was a wine and cheese tasting in downtown Midgar at The Cellar. I had read about it in the paper. I stewed and stewed and tossed and turned at night wondering how I could ask you to go with me. I didn't sleep for one night….and shit I thought that was…terrible. Had I known….had I known, Elena…what awaited us…had I known…god, I woulda just' asked you to go with me. But instead…I just laid there on the couch the night of the tasting and pictured what it would be like with you."

"You don't have to picture anything anymore. I…" Elena laughed a little. She was embarrassed to tell him this but at this point neither of them had anything else to hide. "…I used to rehearse what it would be like to…introduce you to my father. I always knew he'd…he'd just adore you. He always wanted me to…be with a Shinra man." She smiled. "I know that's really silly but…it's true."

"So, you're gonna' let me take you out tomorrow, right?" Tseng asked.

"Yeah, yeah I will…except…you know that we are nearly two hours from 'out', right?" she reminded him.

"No, no we're not. We'll uh…we'll go to the lake. Yes, we'll go to the lake, build a fire…we'll stay there for a while. Oh, we'll take wine. I forgot that, we'll take wine." Tseng assured her. Elena let go of his hand and rolled over with her back against his chest.

"That sounds awfully sweet." She admitted.

"Consider it part of my list."

"In that case tell me something in the dirty column."

"Get on your back and I'll show you instead." Tseng said pushing her to her back and letting his hands trace her curves.

"But there is no way…" Tseng stopped her.

"I only need my mouth for this one."


	8. The Uninhibited

Reno wiped his hands together, shaking the dust from his palms. "That was the last shelf. All the files Rufus requested are in the hall. Wanna' grab some lunch and start in on the cabinets again?" he asked.

"Let's. It's nearly noon. Do you think they're up yet?"

"After last night, I'd be surprised. I have _never _heard a woman get that….you know. I've just never heard a woman react that way….I mean not even a woman I've been with!" Reno insisted.

"Man, it's been god only knows how long, what did you expect!" Rude said.

"You're right. Let's get upstairs. Three words Rude: Microwave Pizza Bagels." Reno said excitedly.

"That's genius." Rude said. He followed Reno up the stairs. Reno pushed the heavy door open at the top flight that lead to the back room where the fireplace was located.

"Whoa…" Reno said stepping carefully.

"Hmmm….well, someone's been busy. When did…hey." Rude said.

"Hey." Tseng hurried over to he and Reno. "Listen. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for…screaming my head off at both of you yesterday. I didn't meant it. I don't hate either of you." Tseng said.

"Tseng, it's okay. We know that. You don't have to explain anything. But uh, what's all this?"

"Me and Elena have been up for a barely an hour. We decided it was best to lay everything out…literally. If you guys want to see any of it, or look at any of it, or ask any questions. You can. It's okay. We won't…go crazy or anything. Thanks…both of you. We uh…we really needed a good slap in the face. Both of us. So, thanks."

"Really, it's no big deal, man. Come on I'm makin' Pizza Bagels!" Reno said tugging on Tseng's arm.

"I have cheese tortellini in the oven, but thanks." Tseng said.

"Screw pizza bagels. I want that." Reno said.

"This is a stupid question, but have you two been working all morning?"

"Yeah, we got all the files Rufus wanted so we can move back to the cabinets." Rude explained.

"That sounds good. Elena and I will…." Reno stopped him.

"No, you won't. Take the day OFF, Tseng. Me an' Rude can handle it. Remember, all you two do is work. Try NOT working today and seeing how that goes for you. Where's Elena?"

"In the shower. She'll be down in a little bit." There was a buzzing sound in the back hallway. "Do me a favor and pull that tortellini out of the oven in three minutes. I need to get these clothes out, folded and put away."

"You got it." Rude said.

"Damn, I'm recycling my clothes at this point…I wish I woulda' known he was doin' laundry. I'm gonna' need something clean." Reno said following Rude into the kitchen.

"See, Reno. This is why you can't pack for a little more than a week with three outfits. He's like…a different person today." Rude said.

"Yeah." Reno laid down on the nearby couch. Rude caught sight of a paper laying on the kitchen bar counter. He pulled it over closer to him.

"Whoa! Whoa! Wow…that…is entirely too much information. But WOW!" Rude said quickly scanning the page and shoving it back in it's place before finishing it. Actually, it didn't appear that the two columns on the page were finished.

"Well, with a reaction like that I gotta' see what you found." Reno got back up from the couch. "Okay, what did you find?"

"Man, no…I'm not telling you." Rude said.

"Oh, is it this?" Reno asked seeing that a piece of paper was the only thing on the bar counter aside from anything cooking related. He unfolded it. "Oh wow…WOW…double wow…Oh my god, wow! Noooo way….wow. Hey, it looks like this list isn't done. 'Cause he started this one: Take Elena to Costa…"

"Put that back, Reno!" Rude scolded him as he pulled the tortellini out of the oven.

"I can't! There's so much hot shit on this! Did you have any idea he thought about Elena like this!" Reno was as thrilled as a schoolboy who had just gotten a sticker.

"Put that down and get over here and drizzle these salad greens with oil and vinegar before you get your ass tore!" Rude scolded him.

"Alright! Alright!" Reno said folding the paper up again as he had found it. He laughed stupidly. "Oh man, I bet he's gonna' take her and…" Rude interrupted him again.

"Reno, Shut…up!"

"Oh, hey. Here let me go get some clothes on and I'll help you." Elena said. All she had wrapped around her was a blue towel. Her hair was wet. She had taken her shower in Tseng's bathroom shortly after he had.

"Okay, lunch is almost ready too." Tseng said plopping the laundry basket onto his bed. "Come here." Tseng put his arms around Elena's damp towel, tiny beads of water falling to his skin from the ends of her hair. "How did you sleep?"

"Mmmm…I didn't wake once." She looked up at him. "Not even once. Can you believe it? God, it was…it was the second best thing I felt last night." Elena said a bit dreamily.

"What's the first best thing?" Elena smiled at him.

"What do you think?" Elena answered before kissing him. "I'll be right back." She let go of him so she could get some clothes on. The draft from the window that was still open was quickly penetrating her towel. Tseng dumped all the laundry out over his bed. He sorted everything in the compulsive way that he always did. He had a system, just like his whole life…he had a system. Tseng loved Elena's clothes, touching them folding them…there was something strangely therapeutic about it for him. Elena wasn't gone long. She was slightly shaking her wet hair dry.

"You're clothes are expensive." Tseng said looking over at her. Elena, put her arms around him, pushing long hair behind his shoulder. Her touch made him weak. He stopped what he was doing and wrapped his free arm around her.

"Yours aren't exactly cheap. You better wear something warm when we go to the lake later."

"You're one to talk." Tseng commented, looking at Elena's thin sweater. He could almost see through it and in fact he could see faint glimpses of her ivory, lace covered bra. It had very small rhinestones on it because the light reflected off them quickly. A woman like Elena fit into someone like Tseng's life perfectly. She had everything he had ever in a woman and she was just as over-the-top compulsive about certain things as he was.

"I have a coat." She promised him. "Here, put all those clothes aside and grab that corner." Elena said walking around on the other side of the bed to pull his fitted sheet over the mattress cover.

"Do you ever wonder why Rufus has never asked either of us what happened up north." Tseng asked her as he sat his neatly sorted stacks aside for the time being.

"I think he's probably read our files and never told us. It's Rufus, he, of all people would ask if he wanted to know. I think he's seen our reports." Elena said pulling the corner tight.

"This is going to sound strange but, somehow; I don't care if he has. It's like, he's the only person I wouldn't have been pissed about reading our files." Tseng told her.

"Yeah, I wouldn't have cared if Rufus read them." She was silent for a minute. Tseng acted as if he were about to say something but then changed his mind. And then, finally he did.

"What are the pills? The pills in that little green thing? What are they?" She had taken one at 8:04 that morning and at 8:00 the previous morning.

"Birth control. The doctor prescribed them for…" Elena shook her head. "…you don't want to know all that." She laughed.

"Yeah, I do…I do want to know. " he encouraged her. Any other man would have never wanted to know all the medical reasons why a woman was taking the pill, as long as it suppressed ovulation the way it was designed to. But Tseng wasn't every other man.

"Well, we came back, and after all the trauma…everything shut down, to put it gracefully. My hormone levels…they went berserk. Estrogen and norepinephrine dropped miserably and my testosterone and progesterone spiked. The doctor put me on the pill to regulate everything…and it worked. I should have probably told you about that sooner but…it's easy to get distracted…with you in me." He threw the other side of the pile of blankets toward Elena.

"Believe me, that's okay. I'm just thrilled to be _able_ to be in you." Tseng straightened out his side. "Let's go eat. I think everything's ready. Leave your clothes in here. Something tells me they'll do no good in your room." Elena smiled and tugged on her jeans. She followed him downstairs, but she didn't get far without Tseng latching his hand around hers.

"Hey, hey this smells amazing. Alright, so you two are okay with us asking you anything, right?" Reno wasted no time pouncing on this opportunity.

"Yes." Tseng assured him.

"In that case, Elena? Why do you have an eating disorder?" Reno asked as he got a stack of plates down from the cabinet before him.

"Well, when we returned I was spiraling out of control pretty quickly, emotionally speaking. I needed something in my life I could have control over and I thought I could control what and how much I ate. Of course, any mental health professional will tell you that an eating disorder is just the opposite; rather than _having _control…there is no control at all."

"That makes sense. I'm sorry, Elena." Rude said.

"Okay, well Tseng…how long. How long have you had it for her?" Reno probed further.

"Since the night she and I sat in the tavern in North Wutai and she just listened, and listened, and listened…for hours she listened to me talk about Aerith's death. It was after that night...I couldn't stop thinking about her." Tseng admitted.

"I uh…I never knew that. Wow. I didn't know you had talked to anyone about the Ancient's death." Reno said a bit sincerely.

"She's not the _Ancient_! Her _name_ is Aerith Dawn Gainsborough!" Tseng snapped at Reno a bit. Even after these past few years, he was still sensitive about it. "I'm sorry…it's just…she…was very special to me."

"You know what I remember about that night in North Wutai?" Elena began as she filled her plate with both pasta and salad. She was starving. Deep down, she wondered if she would ever be full again since she had spent so long starving herself. "I remember how cold it was that night and he and I sat there in front of the fire in that tavern. I remember Tseng was so, so exhausted mentally and physically that night and I remember…." She looked over at him. "…you looked up at me and said, Elena I can't fight this feeling anymore." Elena looked back to Reno and Rude. "That was the last thing he said that night before we went back to the inn."

"You should have gone back together. If you had we wouldn't be sitting here having this conversation. Oh, this stuff is amazing." Rude said. "So, what are your plans today?" Elena glanced over at Tseng as she inhaled her salad.

"We're going to the lake later. We're going to hike around a little bit ." Tseng said.

"I really like working with you two when you're not psychotic maniacs." Reno said. "My god, Elena. Slow down on that stuff! You act like you haven't….you know what…never mind."

"Okay, okay…I have a big question. And I mean, like this is a big one…Tseng, do you love Elena? I don't mean like a friend, I mean do you seriously love her? Tseng looked at Rude.

"Need I remind you that I was _in_, her! Of course I love her!" Tseng assured him rather emphatically. Elena actually laughed.

"Oh god, Tseng…okay…okay, Elena….do you love him?"

"He was _in_ me, Of course I love him." Elena said stabbing cheese filled tortellini with her fork. Reno laughed.

"God, I don't remember the last woman I slept with that I actually cared about."

"Reno, I like you…I do….but my god…you are such a dick." Tseng told him. He acted almost as starved as Elena. Reno laughed again.

"Since I know I can say this without pissing you the hell off….you _just got_ your dick back. And, yeah…yeah I'm kind of a dick. I won't deny it."

"You better be glad I'm in a much more tolerable mood today than I was when I found you yesterday." Tseng told him. Rude had been staring at Elena for a while noticing how he could partially see through her sweater. Elena could hear her phone ringing upstairs.

"I better go get that. It might be my landlord." Elena said putting her fork and down and hurrying upstairs.

"I've never in my life thought of Elena as remotely sexual until I heard what you're capable of getting out of her." Rude admitted to Tseng. Tseng shook his head.

"Well, let's see…I was impotent for four months, and prior to that I hadn't been with a woman for a year. It's a wonder I remembered how anything worked."

"You two have a hell of a lot of potential, you know that? How long did you two talk last night?" Rude asked further.

"In total, about six hours." Tseng answered him.

"My god, did you solve all the problems of the world _and _your own?" Reno asked.

"No, it took five and a half hours to solve our own. The other thirty minutes was what we wanted to take on our first official date today."

"What did you decide?" Rude asked.

"A bottle of chardonnay and a lot of cheese and crackers." Tseng said. Elena practically ran back down the stairs.

"It _was_ my landlord. The townhouse I rent? It's….it's mine. If I want it…it's mine. I've been waiting to hear those magic words for months and months! He's going to take my last six months rent as a down payment on it." Elena was in near tears over this news.

"Did you tell him yes? Did you tell him you'd sign the papers when you got back in town?" Tseng asked her. Apparently, they had talked about this at some point the night before. Elena shook her head excitedly. Tseng put his plate down and reached his arms out toward Elena.

"Why does he get to know about your fancy townhouse buying thing and you never told us!" Rude insisted. Reno actually smiled, seeing Tseng's arms wrapped around Elena in such an incredibly carefree fashion. He must have been even more crippled than Reno could have ever imagined before as he watched just how in love with Elena Tseng really was. It must have been an thinkable hell to not only have been tortured beside the woman you loved, not only to have watched the woman you love _be_ tortured but then to have the torture of never being able to talk to her about anything. It took one tumble of a pile of papers to the floor to change everything.


	9. Wino

It was a perfect fire lakeside. Tseng and Elena were halfway through a bottle of chardonnay. It was fair to say that they were both pretty drunk….but they wanted to be fuckin' hammered. Off all the things to be addicted to, to be abusive toward….neither of them had abused alcohol since the incident up north. No, they wanted to be hammered because neither of them had seen what the other was like…fuckin' hammered. Besides, they were out here alone, at dusk, lakeside. Could it have gotten anymore romantic?

"I…I…finished the list…" Tseng told her as he squeezed his arms around her. They were also covered in a heavy fleece blanket. It was only about fifty degrees out here and they needed to be. He reached around Elena and shoved it in her hand. She gasped and laughed.

"You finished your list! When did you do this!" She asked.

"While you and Rude were doing the dishes today." Tseng said putting his head on her shoulder. Elena opened up the piece of paper.

"Can I…can I read it? Can I read it?" she asked giggling.

"Yes! Yes! God, read it!" Tseng insisted.

"Okay…okay, okay, okay." Elena was so excited as she took another swig of the chardonnay straight from the bottle. "Ooooooh! Ooooooh are you serious!" Elena was so exited. She was also completely swept away as she read her way down the very extensive list. "Wow…you've…you've really put a lot of thought into this list. She turned to face him. "Tseng…I wanna do the whole fuckin' list with you…both columns." It was near exactly what Tseng had said to her.

"Go back up north with me and stay at the resort there?" Tseng asked, knowing it was on his list.

"Yes, whenever you say." Elena promised him.

"And fuck me the night we get there?" Tseng asked, referring to his other column.

"Every…night…that we're there." Elena assured him.

"And how do you feel about this one?" Tseng pointed to something on his list. Elena laughed again.

"Oh I feel just marvelous about that one. I think…we should do that one tonight. I think we should do the other thing too. A woman on top's never a bad thing." Tseng turned her face toward him and kissed her with wine soaked lips. Elena smiled.

"I uh…I think this one's like…really, really sweet. You seriously want to make me breakfast in bed?" Elena asked a bit tickled.

"Yes! Yes! My god, Elena I've had the….oooh god, no I can't subject you to…to what…has passed through my mind. It's too….you know it's just…" Tseng was indeed quite drunk.

"You do remember that I'm reading what you have in the other column. Hell, yes you can make me breakfast and make me do _that._" Elena said. Tseng laughed at her. "God, you're so drunk. Okay, I want to read more." She said, scanning over more of Tseng's list.

Reno and Rude were sitting in front of the fire looking at page after page of Tseng and Elena's files. The more they read, the more they understood why Tseng and Elena never wanted anyone going through them. They also understood why Tseng and Elena had harbored so much guilt and pain. "Hey…what do ya' think woulda' happened….if one of them woulda' died?" Reno asked seriously.

"The other one would have committed suicide." Rude answered just as seriously. There was silence between them because Reno knew Rude was right. The bond was just too strong between Tseng and Elena.

"It was just the….the way he hugged her! Ya' know! It was the _way_ he did it." Reno said out of nowhere, breaking the silence. "…he's like…he's _really_ in love with her. It looked like he had waited years to do that to her…I don't meant _that_…I mean hug her. It's not just sex they're havin'. It's like…it's like…well, it means somethin'! What the hell…is that like?"

"Reno, you and I can never have what Tseng and Elena have. We…will never have that with any other woman. They…were made for each other and the sad thing is, it took nearly four years for them to confess that to each other." Rude said. Reno shook his head.

"I feel so sorry for them, Rude. I mean that. They never deserved any of the shit they went through."

"Tseng, you're such a hopeless romantic do you realize that?" Elena laughed. They were both completely smashed. "I mean you're like…." She just laughed again as he took her in his arms. This was the same couple that could handle a gun with near god-like precision and make choppers their bitches. This was the same couple that nearly crumbled into nothing….and now they openly (and sloshily) _together_. "I like that…about you."

"You know what I like about you…your smell. I could get drunk off your scent…if I weren't already." Tseng kissed her neck.

"Dark Kiss. It's called Dark Kiss. It's a dark scent…sensual, you know?" she said shivering a little.

"God, believe me…I know. That's why it made the list." He said. Elena laughed.

"Yeah, I need to write all the specifics since you want to surprise me with the gift basket and all. That's so damn girly, you know that right?" She laughed again.

"You…you…hush. You're so drunk. Let's go back to the lodge and I'll be very non-girly with you if you know what I mean." He kissed her neck repeatedly. It was such a different side of Tseng and Elena loved it.

"You didn't dance today." Tseng remarked as they stood up and Elena stomped what was left of their fire out.

"No, I was too busy with you. I'll make some time tomorrow."

"Can I watch?" he asked her rather blatantly. He would have never asked her had he been sober.

"Of course you can watch. I'll let you pick the song even." She wrapped her hand around his as they began their dark journey back to the Lodge.

"You'd let me do that? You'd let me pick the song?" Tseng asked her. He knew how deeply personal Elena's ballet was to her.

"I let you in me, naturally I'd let you pick the song." It made Tseng laugh at her. Granted, it was a thousand times funnier considering how much wine he had already had.

"That's the last of them." Rude said. They had put all pages back into the appropriate files. He looked over at the clock, it also had a digital temperature read out. "It's forty-two degrees out there. They should be back soon. Shit…I need a drink Reno. This was too much to handle. No wonder they needed six hours to sort this all out together. I'm surprised it didn't take them six years to figure this shit out. He was right…they were gonna rape her in front of him. They…they held his own loaded gun to his head and Elena had to…she had to answer anything they fuckin' wanted and hope to god they didn't kill him. This is such heavy shit Reno. I don't care how drunk they are…god I wanna hug them both. I mean, I won't but…shit. Sorry, I'm getting much too in touch with my emotional side and the only time I can ever picture myself hugging Tseng is...well, never. Come on, have something strong with me." Rude said feeling overwhelmed by everything they had learned about the entirety of what Tseng and Elena had been through.

"It's okay man. I'm still hung up on the way Tseng hugged her this afternoon. I can't fuckin' shake that from my head. Did you see it! I mean…it was…." Reno sighed. "…it was so fuckin' romantic and spontaneous. And that is _anything_but who I am."

"Let me tell you somethin'. That's the way Tseng was before the incident. He's a….he's one of those guys that is in love with life and has spontaneity." Their conversation couldn't continue because Tseng and Elena just came through the door. Elena was laughing stupidly until she pulled Tseng through the door.

"Take me upstairs and fuck me. Fuck my brains out. God Tseng….we only fucked last night…we neeeeeeed to fuck tonight too. I…I need to take you upstairs and blow you right now." He kissed her hard.

"If you blow me, I can't fuck you and I have to fuck you…but oh my god do I want you to blow me…" he kissed her again.

"Oh my god…They both just said fuck and blow in less than twelve seconds." Reno said. "They are so wasted!"

"So, so wasted." Rude said a bit taken aback because he had never, _ever_ heard Tseng or Elena say something so…._sexual_. They watched as Tseng whispered something to her.

"You can take my clothes off right here." Elena said taking her coat off. Rude knew he had to stop this before they got a little too touchy.

"No, no, no….Elena, I'm sure your body is amazing but please stay dressed. I know you're both really fuckin' hammered but Reno's making drinks for the four of us. We're going to drink to all the shit you two have been through and that fact that you got through it." Rude said leading them into the kitchen. Elena gasped a bit drunkenly.

"Awww, honey…did you and Reno read all the files?

"We did…and I know you're drunk and holy shit you should be…but…I'm so, so sorry."

"You're so sweet to me us." Elena said. Rude shoved a glass into Elena's hand.

"Did you seriously just say that to me! How drunk are you! Maybe you shouldn't drink this. I'll have yours." Reno suggested to Tseng taking the glass from Rude. "Rude, man…wait until you hear what he just told me." Reno said.

"Elena, how much wine did you two have?" Rude asked.

"A bottle." Elena laughed. An entire bottle split between two…that was a lot of wine.

"Shit…alright. You uh…you get to bed. I think you should lie down…for a lot of reasons. Leave your stuff you took with you here. We'll take care of it." Rude patted her shoulders before giving her back to Tseng. Thank goodness they weren't so drunk that they couldn't make it up the stairs in one piece.

Elena felt her head spin as she hit the pillow. Her hands however, were much more in control of this situation than her head. Her kiss was just as dark as her scent. "Did you know that I'm really drunk?" she whispered through her sweet laughter.

"Elena….please….let's just take your clothes off." Tseng slid his hands over her slender body peeling away anything he could get his hands on.

"I want you to be rough with me." Elena whispered.

"I'll be honest with you. I don't know if I can do that….not right now at least. Not….not because….not because I don't want to….do what you want me to do…..god no…..I just….it's too early. To be frank, I just got this…you know…back and I'll come too fast." He was a bit breathless as he kissed her. Elena answered him with her own furious kiss as she peeled her sweater off. Tseng could feel the rhinestones on her bra and each bone of her ribs as he slid his hands over her. "You're so sexy…" his words were hushed and hungry. Elena whimpered softly at his touch. She put her hands on his face.

"I love you. I'm not just _in_love with you….I love you." She confessed.

"I love you too….oh god….I love you too." He was so desperate for her. This was going one hot night…in spite of the cold.


End file.
